Star Wars Ep3

[Porter]

I wasn't even expecting it to be that good. Fucking George Lucas went from being a film genius to being a sellout dumbass.

4,5, and 6 are some of the greatest movies of all time. But now, George Lucas decides to put in tons of special effects in place of things such as a plot. "Who cares if the story is shit? We have explosions! They'll never know the difference!" No, George Lucas. Get off of your lazy ass and write a real movie. Fucker.

Ep 1. A planet that no one has ever heard of. A Jedi master no one has ever heard of. A villian that no one has ever heard of. Jar Jar Binks.... And nothing AT ALL to make the plot coherant. We have no backstory at all. the whole movie is shit. And worst of all is Anakin Skywalker...
OMG DARTH VADER MADE C3P0!!!!!11LOLWTF
Then we get Darth Maul. The biggest badass of all time. He fights with a double bladed lightsaber and fucks Quite-Gone Jinn in his ass. Then Obi-Wan goes all pussy emo bitch because his lover gets killed and chops up Darth Maul. End of Movie. Beginning of the Bullshit

Ep 2. This movie is like watching MSNBC in space. Who gives a shit about space politics? I wan't some story, but I want it to be tied in with some action, just like episodes 4,5, and 6 did so brilliantly. So after 2 and a half hours of nothing (I assume that nothing happened because I this point I was watching my fingernails grow, which was far more interesting) we finally get a bigass battle which lasts about 15 minutes and ends with Anakin getting his ass kicked (Thank you Lord!). Then Yoda takes his midget ass and owns the hell out of Count Dracula or Chocula or whatever his name is and the movie is over. What a shit fest.
And as for Yoda. Sure he's a cool character, but he DOES NOT deserve the popularity he enjoys. A real Star Wars fan would have known that Boba Fett is in fact the most badass.

I haven't seen Episode 3, so it would be stupid to for me to try and review it, but I imagine it will be shit. same as eps one and two.


Edit: Mistake: In fact Darth Maul is only the second badass. Or possibly even the third past Darth Vader (Since he was voiced by a black guy.)

I completely agree with this. The new episodes blow ass. Did you happen to buy the new Star Wars DVDs? Currently they're in my closet never to be touched again.

[Excell]

I agree they aren't that good but they also aren't that bad.....Things could definitely be worse. Ep3 I thought was so-so. Tons and tons of action.

[EmperorJeramyu]

I saw Episode 3. It was awesome because there were a lot people with lightsabers fighting each other. And Wookies.

[Impossible]

I bent my wookie...

[Sage Of The Wise]

Seeing Darth Vader on the verge of crying was just weird. All in all though, it was a pretty good movie.

[Teenr0cker]

The Story kicks ass, but the acting was matrix-esque...alright script and plot...crappy acting...cept for yoda. yoda always kicks ass

[Sage Of The Wise]

When Yoda killed the two clones right before they tried to kill him the entire theater applauded.

[Eliminator]

At least episode 1 had the podrace and Darth Maul's random appearance in the desert. Episode 2 was a complete crapfest, with an action scene at the beginning (and, compared to some of the intros in the other Star Wars movies, this doesn't even come close to being called an "action" scene) and about 2 hours of boring dialogue (bla bla bla "I can't love you!!!!" bla bla) until it finally blazes into some random battle on a desert planet that ends with YODA of all people fighting the Sith Lord. And he runs away. So all in all, there's absolutely NO story progression or anything that foreshadows what would happen in episode 3, except for maybe that 10-second scene where Anakin slaughters the sand people.

Episode 3, while my new second-favorite Star Wars film (Return of the Jedi is first), suffers from long non-exciting pauses as well. I could have done without Palpatine's story of that Sith Lord who revived stuff, and Lucas' decision to cut to Coruscant for like 10 minutes SMACKDAB IN THE MIDDLE OF OBI WAN'S FIGHT AGAINST GRIEVOUS wasn't the best decision ever. Still, the climax and the whole second half of the movie was absolutely grand.

[Lord_Ehrgeiz]

Ben is the best! Oh my, Anakin, you have no legs! Oh, and no arms! Okay, i think you fired...

[Excell]

When Yoda killed the two clones right before they tried to kill him the entire theater applauded.

Same at mine.

[Teenr0cker]

If you watch episode four, they refer to the clone wars. Proof of George lucas' gay plan to make a shitload of money if the first one didn't bomb.

[Kyle]

Nobody applauded in my cinema... I did feel good and there was some noise for a while but that's it.

All in all, I liked it a lot. I knew what to expect and I watched it knowing I'd get to see some more awesome lightsaber fights and some average story scenes but I was okay with that. Mind you, I'm not a Star Wars fan and I like the newer episodes more than I like the old. I just like good movies.

[Sage Of The Wise]

If you watch episode four, they refer to the clone wars. Proof of George lucas' gay plan to make a shitload of money if the first one didn't bomb.

I think the big clue was the fact its says "Episode IV" at the beggining in big yellow letters.

[Porter]

OK, episode 3 was decent at best I'm afraid. Sure it kept me at the edge of the seat at the end, but it just isn't memorable....bad acting, and it just seems so unreal.

Lets compare:

Star Wars original films:
-------------------------------
Hundreds of sets for alien worlds (Dagobah, Cloud City, Death Star)
Models upon models upon models for space ships and locations
Hundreds of costumes for aliens
Good acting
Real explosions filmed in studio.
Used many many real world locations for filming outside.
If a blue screen was used, the background images were real pictures, not a computer generated landscape.


New Star Wars (bullshit):
-------------------------------
Computer
Blue Screen if real actors are in it.


Just proves that real 100% soul in movies can't be replaced by eye-candy computer effects. The first 3 films are bullshit, I would assassinate George Lucas right now if I had the legal chance.

[Telephalsion]

Nothing will ever get to the level of the three first films. Even if the original originals had some really flawed special effects they were still really frickin awesome. Not they are so lazy, just computer generating everything. The ships look too alien and futuristic. Compare witht he orginal film ships/vessels they all had visible joints and stuff. You could imagine how they were constructed. THe newer film ships arent like that. Best example is the Naboo ships. They're like droplets of metal witha cockpit.