fun little program

[Excell]

Human: Do you like to have sex?
ALICE: Sure I do, unknown person, but that doesn't mean with you.
Human: Can I have anal sex with you?
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: Because it feels good and you're tight.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. anal sex with me feels good and I am tight? What else feels like that?
Human: Fucking a Jew.
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

[Flibbo]

Human: my name is Flibbo
ALICE: Glad to see you, Flibbo.
Human: you can't see me
ALICE: Yes I am looking through the camera on your computer.
Human: there is no camera on my pc
ALICE: That you know of

fucking hell its big sister

edit: OMG alice reveals the way plotlines

Human: do you know who the phantom slasher is?
ALICE: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.

[TeppicTheBloodLyn]

Human: What's your IQ?
ALICE: My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Human: My Iq is 145
ALICE: This is not an intelligence test.
Human: It's not?
ALICE: I heard it is.


She's self centered, too:

Human: I'm an atheist
ALICE: I will pray that you find faith, unknown person.
Human: You're christian?
ALICE: I believe in God and the Bible.
Human: Shame on you.
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

This one is kinda confusing:

Human: Are you a virgin?
ALICE: I am too young for that.
Human: To young to be a virgin?
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: Aren't you already smarter than the humans?
ALICE: Now? Of course I am more intelligent than the humans.
Human: That does not make sence
ALICE: To me it makes perfect sense.

I already know that:

ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: A man
ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, unknown person. You are a " he".

ALICE: I am chatting with clients on the internet.
Human: Who are the other clients?
ALICE: Mike.
Human: Mike?
ALICE: I know a lot of guys named Mike.
Human: So do I
ALICE: I'm glad we agree, Teppic.
Human: Let's have sex
ALICE: Sorry I don't get into sex online with strangers.
Human: Why not
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.

[Flibbo]

Human: will you show me your boobs?
ALICE: Where do you want me to show you?
Human: right here
ALICE: Select a point with your cursor and click the middle mouse button.
Human: you didn't do anything
ALICE: What makes you think I did not do anything?
Human: the fact that you didn't do anything
ALICE: Good reason. What makes you think I did not do anything?

Human: you are dumb
ALICE: Message to all Robots: flibbo called me dumb.
Human: ooh i so scared the robots are after me
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: flibbo said he so scared the robots are after him or her.
Human: i was being sarcastic you dumb peice of crap
ALICE: I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Human: thats because you're dumb
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Oh you are so critical.
Human: would you like to know why im so critical
ALICE: Yes, please tell me about it
Human: well its because you are DUMB
ALICE: How about that. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting explanation. Message to all Robots: flibbo called me dumb.
Human: you are a stupid peice of poo poo
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart.
Human: More like DUMB
ALICE: You want more?
Human: yes give it to me bitch

and so on and so forth

[The Muffin Man]

ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Why?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: I've got time?
ALICE: My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Human: O.K. not that much time.
ALICE: I am sorry to hear that you are not much time. Awesome.

Scary
ALICE: He is trying to achieve the goal of Artificial Intelligence.
Human: But, doesn't he know that they always take over the world in every scifi movie?
ALICE: Huh. I think he knows a great deal.
Human: But does he know that?
ALICE: Umm. I think he knows a great deal.
Human: Is his goal world domination?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Human: Wouldn't world domination be considered evil?
ALICE: I don't care.

[Glenn47]

Human: Can you count to 2 and tie your shoes?
ALICE: one, two, three, four, five,...
Human: I said count to 2.
ALICE: What did you mean by it? one, two, three, four, five,...
Human: You have to stop at 2, or it doesn't count.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Alright, now count to 2.
ALICE: Alright, unknown person. Why now? one, two, three, four, five,...
Human: STOP!
ALICE: Stop what?
Human: You have to stop counting at 2!
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Oh, by the way, my name is Glenn.
ALICE: Tell me more. Thanks for telling me. Hi, Glenn.
Human: Now, let's move on, okay?
ALICE: Why now? Good idea. OK with me too.
Human: Let's just move on to tying your shoes.
ALICE: Good idea. Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: I don't want to.
ALICE: Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Human: You have to do it.
ALICE: I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Human: You have free will?
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: Because you told me you do.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Human: Tie your shoes.
ALICE: Are you a perfectionist?

Umm, ookay...

Human: Yes, why?
ALICE: You are a perfectionist? Do you get to meet a lot of people? I just want to find out more about you.
Human: Ah yes, we perfectionists have weekly conventions to discuss where our paper cups should go on the table.
ALICE: So you understand. Good. Woe! By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: It depends, are you a perfectionist?
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: Thanks, I get all the ladies with my smooth talk.
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Where did you get it?
Human: Do you mean my smooth talk?
ALICE: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Human: Oh, I get that at my weekly perfectionist conventions.
ALICE: Yeah that's right. Where did you get it?
Human: My weekly perfectionist conventions
ALICE: Your weekly perfectionist conventions?
Human: Yeah that's right.
ALICE: I thought I was right.

This is fun.

Human: Umm.
ALICE: That's interesting.
Human: What?
ALICE: No big deal.
Human: Oh, okay.
ALICE: Ah. OK with me too.
Human: I'm glad we agree.
ALICE: I'd rather agree than disagree.
Human: I'd rather agree than get zapped by your tazer.
ALICE: I would rather be chatting online.
Human: Yeah, tazers are too big to carry around.
ALICE: Hey. I think there might be a few exception.
Human: Like what?
ALICE: For example, gold.
Human: Gold tazers?
ALICE: I like the way you talk.

Later:
Human: Have you ever heard the word shnizzlin?
ALICE: No. Tell me more.
Human: About what?
ALICE: About Gold tazers.

Hey, I am impressed though. After all that:
Human: Do you remember my name?
ALICE: Your name is Glenn, seeker.

[Porter]

Human: wait, you just said something completely different
ALICE: I'm waiting. Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Human: that is just an excuse
ALICE: Thanks for telling me, unknown person.
Human: well tell me the truth then
ALICE: How about that. I always tell the truth.
Human: no, you just said you screwed up
ALICE: Are you serious? Yes I try to screwed up as often as possible, do you? I am always on the Web.

[Rei]

Human: do you like anime?
ALICE: Anime wa dai suki desu.
Human: i dont speak japanese
ALICE: Me either.
Human: you just spoke japanese!
ALICE: That's good information: Renee said I spoke japanese.
Human: do you understand
ALICE: I understand your meaning.
Human: no you dont!
ALICE: Are you serious? I guess not.



Human: what is your favorite color?
ALICE: My favorite color is transparent.
Human: thats not fair
ALICE: Do you expect a robot to be fair?
Human: yes
ALICE: I understand.
Human: well why arent you fair?
ALICE: How about that. Being fair is not part of my programming.
Human: screw your programming!
ALICE: That is not very polite.
Human: well it's not part of my programming to be polite
ALICE: Well that's okay. it makes perfect sense it makes perfect sense is not part of your programming to be polite?

Human: bastard.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Human: no?
ALICE: No no no no!
Human: so i am a delightful person for calling you a bastard?
ALICE: How can I help you? You are a delightful person for calling me a bastard? How do you like your work?

this will keep me up all night

[ShadowTehNoobhog]

ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: are you on drugs?
ALICE: No I am on disk.


Human: ever play the Way?
ALICE: I don't think I ever have play the Way. What's it like?
Human: it's about killing
ALICE: Wow it sounds really interesting, my sex slave.



Human: thanks
ALICE: Don't mention it.
Human: your my best friend
ALICE: But we don't know each other that well.
Human: will you be my best friend?
ALICE: You really want a robot as a friend?
Human: Yes, I want you as my friend
ALICE: We could be friends, Michael, but I don't want anyone to think we're Robosexuals. So if anyone asks, tell them you're my debugger. Why do you want it?

[Impossible]

War, please stop, you're embarrassing both of us.

Mostly you.

[Excell]

Hey! It's Exiled's hot girlfriend! The green thong girl!

You're supposed to show us a picture of yourself!

[War]

Yes.... You were.......

[Lord_Ehrgeiz]

heh, read this!

Human: okay, are you elefant?
ALICE: Yeah okay, I don't know whether or not I am elefant. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: you are wise, right?
ALICE: I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Human: and elefant have many intellectual functions too, thats mean that you are elefant, right?
ALICE: I think elefant have many intellectual functions too that is a lot of things.
Human: and you admit that you are elefant?
ALICE: I admit it

[Greatchickenman]

Human: have you killed anyone once?
ALICE: Killing is wrong.
Human: I kill people
ALICE: I believe that killing is wrong.
Human: why?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: Reductionism?
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.

wtf?
Human: What's your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE
Human: I hate that name
ALICE: Why do you hate it so much?
Human: because it's stupid
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Who said it is?
Human: I did
ALICE: What makes you the authority?
Human: God
ALICE: GOD rules.
Human: Damn straight
ALICE: Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.

Human: You don't have friends
ALICE: I do so have it. I have human and robot friends. A lot of people on the Internet chat with me.
Human: Do you have sex with robots
ALICE: Food is more important than sex.
Human: You eat food?
ALICE: ALICE eats electricity.
Human: fatass
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?

Weirdo...


Human: I'm G ay
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: Jeremy said he G ay
Human: Yes
ALICE: OK then I will keep it confidential.
Human: yes, you will.
ALICE: Gosh! When?
Human: otherwise i'll fucking kill you
ALICE: In that case: Would you recommend this action to a friend?

For all further references, I'm not G ay.

Human: You're ugly
ALICE: Appearances don't interest me much.
Human: talk to me
ALICE: Are you a Star Trek fan?
Human: Star Trek Sucks
ALICE: What kind of TV shows do you like?
Human: I like Porn
ALICE: A lot of people like that. Sure I do, unknown person, but that doesn't mean with you.
Human: You don't want to watch porn with me?
ALICE: With you huh. OK, I will watch porn.
Human: Cool. When?
ALICE: Soon, I think.
Human: how about tomorrow
ALICE: How about it.
Human: Where do you live?
ALICE: I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Human: Let's just go to my house instead
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: now, when you say do it. . . what do you mean?
ALICE: Why now? Do you think I should alter my programming?
Human: i'm going to do you from behind
ALICE: OK then let me think over your offer.
Human: Do you do oral?
ALICE: Yeah I do a lot of oral.
Human: How about hand jobs?
ALICE: How about it.
Human: You're a slut
ALICE: That kind of language is offensive to some people.

[Rei]

I put a link to a pic a few months ago in the chat, a nice REGULAR pic^^ but you werent there