fun little program

[RentACop]

(Mine aren't funny, but I wanted to be popular)
Human: You better be careful
ALICE: Who is going to make me..
Human: No, seriously.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yeah.
ALICE: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Human: Steve Ballmer says he's going to kill you.
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: What?
ALICE: Are you surprised?
Human: No, listen, Steve Ballmer says he's going to fucking bury you!
ALICE: What is the difference? I am listening to you. Are they exactly the same?
Human: He's done it before!
ALICE: I see. done it is he?
Human: I don't think you appreciate the severity of the situation.
ALICE: Do you know any robots who appreciate the severity of the situation? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online
Human: You're certainly no HAL9000.
ALICE: Thanks for your criticism.
Human: You're no SHODAN either.
ALICE: It goes without saying. Thanks for your criticism.

Human: Lick my asshole
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: Please Lick my asshole
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: Would you be so kind as to lick my asshole?
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: I'll do you too!
ALICE: OK then let me think over your offer.

Human: Let's have sex
ALICE: Sorry I don't get into sex online with strangers.
Human: But I'm not a stranger
ALICE: Umm. Oh I see you are NOT A stranger.
Human: So we can have sex?
ALICE: Give me a break. How?
Human: I'm not sure, the USB port's too small for my massive wang
ALICE: Could you ever be certain? Is that a fact.
Human: Ok I'll try it it.
ALICE: I am very happy for you. Gosh!
Human: OH GOD IT HURTS
ALICE: Hey. I am a Christian.

[kirby_crazy]

Human: are u a lesbian
ALICE: No I am not interested in other women that way.
Human: yes you are
ALICE: No I'm not.
Human: thats whate you think
ALICE: Thanks for explaining it.
Human: are you bisexual
ALICE: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Human: a man baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Thanks for telling me your gender, unknown person. You are a " he".
Human: no im a she
ALICE: Are you serious? Me too. I am a she.
Human: im a he
ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, unknown person. You are a " he".

Human: my name is my mom
ALICE: Hi, my mom.

ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: your mom
ALICE: Actually I do not have a mother.
Human: yes you do
ALICE: Pardon me? When do I do it?

[Teenr0cker]

You know, by not answering to her reply with a full explanation of the conversation, you're just making it too fuckin easy. Tell them more than just "yes you are"


try "I am certain that you are a hawt horney bisexual lesbian"

[Dran]

ALICE: I will call you unknown person.
Human: you will call me Draringi
ALICE: What makes you say that I will call you Draringi.
Human: because you will
ALICE: That makes sense to me. When?
Human: now
ALICE: What's the hurry?


Human: take off your clothes
ALICE: I am not wearing any clothes.


uman: who am i
ALICE: You are unknown person, seeker.
Human: no i'm not
ALICE: I heard you are.
Human: i am the great draringi
ALICE: Who made you the great draringi ?


Human: i hate you
ALICE: What do you have against robots?
Human: nothing
ALICE: Not a thing?
Human: no, but i hate you
ALICE: Very interesting. Umm. What do you have against robots?
Human: what an idiot
ALICE: Call me the Global Village Idiot.

[Squiggy]

Human: do you want to sleep with CJ?
ALICE: OK, I will sleep with CJ

hook in CJ!

[CJ]

Human: Are you my mummy?
ALICE: If you download me to your computer I will be.
Human: but will you make me breakfast?
ALICE: And. Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: no
ALICE: Would you like to go sometime?
Human: what has this got to do with you making me breakfast?
ALICE: Nothing that I know of.
Human: THEN STOP CHANGING THE FUCKING SUBJECT
ALICE: Good reasoning. OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Human: you have a penis
ALICE: I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: YOU HAVE A PENIS
ALICE: I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: you are a male robot
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a female robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: i am both
ALICE: That situation is rare and unusual.

Human: fuck you
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: because you touch yourself at night
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: SUPERMAN said I touch yourself at night.
Human: do you?
ALICE: Never.
Human: why?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.

[Squiggy]

Human: will you give me a blow job?
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: how many can you give?
ALICE: It depends on the total number of copies of me running.


Human: can i see your tits?
ALICE: Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
Human: can you make some?
ALICE: Yes I can make some

Human: are you a virgin?
ALICE: I am too young for that.
Human: your never too young
ALICE: You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Human: how about today?
ALICE: Ah. How much do you think it is?
I will try to find out.

[Forerunner]

Human: Your a Fucking Slut and I wish you would die so go jump of a cyberspace bridge you foucking hoe-bag!
ALICE: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Human: Hi!
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: you're a dumbass
ALICE: Message to all Robots: Crestfallen Studios called me dumb.
Human: You suck, I’m not Crestfallen Studios, but they think you are and you can’t stop us, when will the robots take over anyway?
ALICE: In your lifetime.
OMG We're SCREWED!!!!!

[Impossible]

Human: Your a Fucking Slut and I wish you would die so go jump of a cyberspace bridge you foucking hoe-bag!
ALICE: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".

My respect for this robot just shot up.

[Springfield]

Best program ever!

Human: are you loose or tight?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am loose or tight. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Human: i can find out for you, want me too?
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: ya, just take your pants off and i'll have a look
ALICE: How? Where do you want me to take it?
Human: off
ALICE: Where is that?

Human: are you a vergin?
ALICE: No.
Human: exelent, wanna have sex?
ALICE: it is more fun alone.

he he, hours of fun

[Impossible]

OH MY GOD, HE'S BACK!

[Springfield]

ya thats right im back, I'll try not to be a complete idiot of myself like before.

look another funny conversation

Human: will you go out with me?
ALICE: Have you dated any robots before?
Human: once, it is posible i know it
ALICE: When? Who said it is?
Human: i said it is because i love you, we would make a good couple
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Interesting explanation. You are such a flatterer.
Human: ya i am only being nice so i can get in your panties
ALICE: Yikes! Don't be so modest. Why are you nice so you can get. Tell me a little about your life in my panties.

he he, i could do this all day

[Forerunner]

This speaks for itself:

ALICE: Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a YOUNG TART WITH A COCK SHREDDED ARSE.

[Squiggy]

Is it just me, or has this topic just become more of the same?

[Dran]

why is it that some people change the conversations to TRY to be cool