HolsteinCow's Ninja Dojo: Lesson One

[HolsteinCow]

HOW TO KILL SOMEONE WITH ONLY A BUTTPLUG AND A LITER OF RASPBERRY COULIS

'inspired' by the e2 node of the same name

It is well known that animals can make seratonin(a mania-inducing neurotransmitter) out of tryptophan. It is slightly more esoteric that Gibbons have an enzyme that allows them to produce seratonin from not only tryptophan but also tryptophyl chloride. And while only 1% of the tryptophan will be processed into seratonin, virtually all tryptophyl chloride will be converted to seratonin.

There is a high concentration of tryptophil chloride in raspberries.

Here is what you must do:

A) Catch a male gibbon in the wild. Use only 100 milliliters for this.
B) Before proceeding any further, take a shower. Be sure to eliminate as much of your body odor as you possibly can.
C) 20 minutes before meeting your target, feed the gibbon the rest of your coulis.
D) If there is security present, make it clear that the gibbon is your pet.
E) Once you see the target, insert the butt plug into the gibbons anus and twist it for five full revolutions. This will stimulate the gibbon's prostate gland and cause it to produce the seratonin-producing enzyme.
F) Let chemistry do its work. When the gibbon reaches a high point of mania, release it into the target's face. Gibbons have deadly 1-inch long incisors. The chances of your target surviving are close to zero.
G) The buttplug will still be in the gibbon's anus, which somehow remove's the brain's ability to signify satiety. Thus, the gibbon will actually eat the target and not stop.
H) When all traces are removed, remove the buttplug from the gibbon's anus and get the hell out of dodge. Mission accomplished.

I hope you've learned something valuble today. Come back next time for a detailed look at Richard Simmon's unique abilities and how you can use them to be a better ninja.

[hero_bash]

WTH??!! more ninja skills!

[Fitz Tayo]

Well it sure sounds genuine.

[War]

You could do that or you could do this:

A) Cover your foe in fish blood
B) Dupe them off in the middle of any sea

[Greatchickenman]

Or you could:

A) Shoot them.

[War]

Ya, but that doesn't have a animal in it, unless you train a bear to shot them.

[Teenr0cker]

I have my own sensei already


http://drmcninja.com/index.html

[Telephalsion]

Teen, I love you, thanks to you I was able to catch up on drmcninja

[Strayed Wanderer]

A true ninja can dodge a lightning bolt while holding a 20ft spoon.

[Sling]

http://www.harveycartel.org/metanet/downloads.html

[dyyhpys]

Ya, but that doesn't have a animal in it, unless you train a monkey to shot them.

That makes a lot more sense to me now.

[chrono10v3r]

your not a ninja! i can see you...

[Alundra]

your not a ninja! i can see you...

Is it just me or do your attempted jokes seem really forced to me?

[chrono10v3r]

your not a ninja! i can see you...

Is it just me or do your attempted jokes seem really forced to me?

hum... perhaps your right... i don't see how i found that funny at the time any ways... + i didn't think i would be hanging around here for more than 1 day.... I'll probably leave evetually and go back to that other board i go to.

[Sarcasm]

Knock yourself out (preferably with an hammer)