Crestfallen Studios

It is official, when it 04:00 AM(GMT) on the 15th, I will be 18. Despite the fact I am legally old enough to drink my dad has forbade me from buying any Jack Daniels or Smirnoff. When I told him that Jesus drank (he is highly super religious) he tried to make out that if Jesus came back he wouldn't drink spirits to which I spent the next hour WTFing. Ahywho, it doesn't matter since I'll probably buy an 80cl bottle of JD from the offy down the road.

18 isn't the legal drinking age... 21 is. Wait... where do you live again? Some place in the UK with a weird name?
Oh yeah, and Jesus never had to drink wine... he felt the buzz 24/7 because of his extremely high blood alcohol level.

Today was the best birthday ever. It is a tale so awesome I will probably create a whole new topic. But anywho. There is a bench located outside the F Block (IT Block) in my college. It was there 3 years ago. Then the bastard emos in B Block (Art&Media) stole it. So last year, we were compaining that we had nowhere to sit excpet the floor and some of the guys in our course who had done the First Diploma the year before told us about the emos stealing the bench. So we hatched a daring plan and we stole it and we reclaimed it and placed it behind the F Block. A whole year passed and no one knew where it had gone (except us of course). So this year, becuase it was so cold (as it is winter) we placed in the corridor. We came in the next week to find the Chavs had stolen it and placed outside Construction. The emos then knew were it was and stole it again. We then restole it. Of course, this time, the emos saw us and knew where it was and over the course of the past few weeks they kept stealing it. We put it back round the back and thought that it would stop them, but we were wrong, they were actually smart enough to look. We saw a couple of people carting it off so we attempted to stop them. 2 of my friends launched themselves and sat on the bench whilst the emos were carrying it. Then these 2 fat lesbians wet schizo and annihilated one of my friends so we allowed them to take it (becuase we had a dastardly revenge plan) So, during lunch, we went round to the B&Q DIY Warehouse and bought a 1.4m Stainless Steel hardened chain and the biggest bastard of a padlock we could find, the total cost amounted to £30. We then stole the bench back after the last lecture and then chained it to the railings. We also got a piec of A2 paper and wrote "You got Owned by F Block.", "You will be billed for a any damages" and "Excellent Rape Online". If you saw the thickness of the chain and the size of the padlock, you would realise that they have NO CHANCE of stealing it back unless they get a blowtorch and some diamond edged cutters, remove the railings or saw through the end of the bench. I will hopefully have some pictures up soon. It was shit though becuase some chavs were sat on it as we were leaving but if it is there in Monday, we will have totally owned them.

Happy happy birthday. Happy Birthday cake.
Happy happy birthday. Pin the tail on the donkey!
Happy happy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLING!


PS:

Don't be a bitch, you're 18.

I can confirm that the bench we stole from the emo's(even though it was originally ours) is still chained to railings. We were thinkiong of going down the art&media block and just drawing an outline of a bench on the wall they put the bench in front of when they stole it. Good times.
I can also confirm that I'm not, have never been or ever will be a bitch. So that's an even bigger plus.

You had better be drunk right now

or else....

Now no, earlier yes.

Iteroth wrote:or else....

I wouldn't want to be you right now.

Ha ha, all the emo's were sat in a circle around the spot they used to keep putting our bench. We're thinking of taking a photo of us sitting on the bench and add the caption, "Exellant Rape Online" (Excellent is deliberately spelt wrong) and a photo of the emo's sat round in a circle outside and theb draw an outline of a bench on the wall of the emo block in Photoshop and add the caption "Benchless Losers" and putting them on T-Shirts.