Crestfallen Studios

Even though this is my birthday topic, this really deserves it own thread. There is a bench located outside the F Block (IT Block) in my college. It was there 3 years ago. Then the bastard emos in B Block (Art&Media) stole it. So last year, we were compaining that we had nowhere to sit excpet the floor and some of the guys in our course who had done the First Diploma the year before told us about the emos stealing the bench. So we hatched a daring plan and we stole it and we reclaimed it and placed it behind the F Block. A whole year passed and no one knew where it had gone (except us of course). So this year, becuase it was so cold (as it is winter) we placed in the corridor. We came in the next week to find the Chavs had stolen it and placed outside Construction. The emos then knew were it was and stole it again. We then restole it. Of course, this time, the emos saw us and knew where it was and over the course of the past few weeks they kept stealing it. We put it back round the back and thought that it would stop them, but we were wrong, they were actually smart enough to look. We saw a couple of people carting it off so we attempted to stop them. 2 of my friends launched themselves and sat on the bench whilst the emos were carrying it. Then these 2 fat lesbians wet schizo and annihilated one of my friends so we allowed them to take it (becuase we had a dastardly revenge plan) So, during lunch, we went round to the B&Q DIY Warehouse and bought a 1.4m Stainless Steel hardened chain and the biggest bastard of a padlock we could find, the total cost amounted to £30. We then stole the bench back after the last lecture and then chained it to the railings. We also got a piece of A2 paper and wrote "You got Owned by F Block.", "You will be billed for a any damages" and "Excellent Rape Online". If you saw the thickness of the chain and the size of the padlock, you would realise that they have NO CHANCE of stealing it back unless they get a blowtorch and some diamond edged cutters, remove the railings or saw through the end of the bench. I will hopefully have some pictures up soon. It was shit though becuase some chavs were sat on it as we were leaving but if it is there in Monday, we will have totally owned them. I will hopefully have some pictures soon.

If you are fighting over a bench, the emos have already won.

i would make my self a dry ice ballistics and destroy that chain.

What's stopping anyone else from just sitting on the bench now that it can't be moved?

Blow up the bench and be done with the whole ordeal... and if you happened to detonate whilst the emos or chavs are on it, oh well.

Sage Of The Wise wrote:If you are fighting over a bench, the emos have already won.

We're not fighting, we're just pissed that they keep stealing our bench. We just wanted to see their faces when they realised they could no longer steal it.

Angel_OA wrote:What's stopping anyone else from just sitting on the bench now that it can't be moved?

It's outside our Block. If someone else fromanother block wanted to sit on it they'f have to walk quite far, considering that F Block is all by itself surrounded by some admin offices, which would make it not worth it and even if they did, every person in the block would kick their asses.

Shindy wrote:i would make my self a dry ice ballistics and destroy that chain.

They're not that smart.

Fitz Tayo wrote:Blow up the bench and be done with the whole ordeal... and if you happened to detonate whilst the emos or chavs are on it, oh well

If they somehow break through the chain then that is the plan. I have already developed some blueprints for a Rocket Launcher and some Napalm Rounds.

Sling wrote:

Sage Of The Wise wrote:If you are fighting over a bench, the emos have already won.

We're not fighting, we're just pissed that they keep stealing our bench. We just wanted to see their faces when they realised they could no longer steal it.

You meen the same depressed look they all have?

Once they realise they have no bench and no chance of getting it back they'll all start to cry and try to kill themselves. It's brilliant everytime we walk past the Art&Media Block we'll see them more sad and emoish than before and we'll be able to gloat over the fact we have the damned bench, which we're probably not even going to sit on. Now that I think about it was purely just to piss the emos off, I suppose having somewhere to sit at breaktime other than the floor is a plus.

Anyway Sling, I take my metaphorical hat off to you.
Any kick in the balls for emo-kind is good enough for me. I hope your actions inspire millions of people around the world.

Just doing my duty. Just doing my duty.