Crestfallen Studios

One of my friends keeps writing these fantasy novels and they're all the same. Crap, crap and crap. I keep getting sent copies of his lastest works and asked to give feedback.
Most of the time I just say 'uhh, yeah it's fine' and try and change the subject but they're just getting more and more ridiculous.
Here's the opening line of the newest one:
"Tarthelian’s dark eyes slowly examined his foe, standing not more than six feet in front of him."
Now if I didn't know any better I'd honestly think the story was a parody.
In short he can't write for shit but he's so convinced that his stories are brilliant he keeps on writing them.
He wastes months of his life writing this stuff.
What would be the gentlest way to let him know he's GOT to stop?

Tell him he sucks and offer advice on how to improve, failure and defeat are the best teachers.

Cut of his hands with a Naginata.

Fuck with his head. Say they're so good, you want him to do Furry Fic. But say you don't know about that stuff (its too "advanced") and suggest he try asking for input from one of their many communities online.


The idea will either strike him as normal, which means you need a new friend, or totally absurd, which may mean they'll realize that you don't care and you were saying in a very subtle manner that you lack further interest. Nurture that latter conclusion. He'll get to it soon enough.

Why don't you actually give critiques, and then they'll start sucking less? =/

Show him this post.

Angel_OA wrote:"Tarthelian’s dark eyes slowly examined his foe, standing not more than six feet in front of him."

Tell him I actually laughed out loud when I read this.

You need to be bluntly honest with him (not a dick, though). As a writer myself, if someone gave me constructive criticism, I'd take it as a tool to perfect what's not working. If he's serious about improving as a writer, he'll take your criticism in stride. If he gets all pissy, he's not worth doing anything other than fan fiction and movie novelizations.

Speaking on novelisations, when is someone (preferrably fwacho) going to write/finish The Way novelisation?

It's sad that I can actually write better than that...

Me too...

even i don't write like that...

Angel, unless you care much for this sap of a friend or he owes you money, do what Otaku said. Showing him this post would be a good idea too.

Sarcasm wrote:Tell him he sucks and offer advice on how to improve, failure and defeat are the best teachers.

Wellsy630 wrote:You need to be bluntly honest with him (not a dick, though). As a writer myself, if someone gave me constructive criticism, I'd take it as a tool to perfect what's not working. If he's serious about improving as a writer, he'll take your criticism in stride. If he gets all pissy, he's not worth doing anything other than fan fiction and movie novelizations.

Otaku No Anime wrote:Why don't you actually give critiques, and then they'll start sucking less? =/

QFT

EDIT: And yes, even I, of all people, can write better than that.
EDIT EDIT: Even though the entrance for my character into the Risen sucked. That was just a fluke. >_>

Aegis! it has been a while!!! for SECOND TIME!!!!!! U've went missing.

Did you decide to return? How'd your quest go?
JK

Well, I'll try not to be like this guy at all for my first book that I am writing. In other words, will try not to be corny as hell.

Shindy wrote:Aegis! it has been a while!!! for SECOND TIME!!!!!! U've went missing.

[offtopic] Yeah, I do that a lot. [/offtopic]