Crestfallen Studios

Violence in Cow-lumbia

September 26th, 2004
SOURCE: The Appleton Post Cresent, World Section

Colombia, long the world's murder capital due to drug-related deaths, now has violence spreading to farm animals. RCN Radio reported that a Holstein Cow stepped on the trigger of a loaded rifle left in a field by a farm laborer, and shot another cow in the head. The injured cow is listed in critical condition at a nearby veterinary hospital!
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I'm guessing Holstein fled the scene. It's our civil duty to turn him in....

or should we not?

Run Cow, run!

Turn him in, that's so much more fun.

Dear Friends,

If you are reading this, then I have already crossed the southern border and I am now dodging people trying to kill me to make some kind of meat salad (read: shit). I hope nobody else wins against me in Pong, or I'll have to cross over to Honduras!

-HolsteinCow

A recent photo of Holstein being seduced by gay television star Christopher Lowell