by EmperorJeramyu » Wed Dec 01, 2004 8:23 pm
It's about that time, ey chaps?
"The madness resumes"
The bus pulled off the highway, onto a rocky dirt road leading up into the overhead looming mountains. Little did the crestfallen know (well, they probably EXPECTED it, but still, they didn’t know fo shizzle), many battles and trials awaited them. Battles that would test both their individual strengths, and their unity as a community.
“I hate you. I hate you and I want you to die.” Said OverlordBill stoically.
Jeramyu ignored him. He had an erection, and was not about to let OverlordBill spoil it.
“I have an erection.” Jeramyu announced aloud. Some of the crestfallen sent him awkward glances, but most just took it in stride.
“I have an erection.” Jeramyu repeated again. Somebody coughed.
“I have an erection.” Jeramyu recited rhythmically. A few people groaned, and told him to shut up.
“Does anyone want my erection?” Jeramyu said, clutching his groin. He looked around a bit. Nothing happened.
“Ok. Fuck this. Standup hour is over. You lose.” Porter said, shaking his head. Jeramyu pounded a desk with anger.
“I am seething with anger.” Jeramyu reported plainly.
“OVER!” Screamed Porter.
The Crestfallen were actually bored. Actually, genuinely bored. Every remedy had fallen short of amusement.
“Didn’t anyone bring a Gamecube or something?” Jeramyu whined. He perked up, “I know what we can do for a laugh! Let’s read the bible!”
That got a few chuckles. Jeramyu started jeering again. “Or the book of mormon! Yeah!”
Some of the crestfallen started laughing. Fitz walked into the room. “I stuck my penis down a blender. The results were not pretty, but I can regenerate like Wolverine. Except I have lasers.”
“You do not only have lasers, but you are also cooler than Wolverine. But not Batman. Batman is really cool.” Glenn decided.
“Yes. Batman is awesome.” Fitz agreed.
Just then, the bus shook with a terrible fervor. Jupiter turned. “[ Stats are updated! ]” It reported.
“Oh god are my stats hott. SUCK MY STATS!” Bill screamed.
“Nah, we ran over some mofo. I could’ve stopped the bus, but I could feel the suckiness from whoever it was.” Excell said casually.
Jeramyu and Porter stepped out of the bus. Half of an old man stuck out from the front.
“Hey. Uh, sorry about sentencing you to certain death.” Porter said, scratching his head. The old man turned.
“*cough* It matters not. For I was doomed to fall this way the moment you were born. I have been waiting here for you both.”
“Awesome. An all-seeing old guy. They always rock.” Jeramyu said, snapping his finger.
“Ahead lay many trials and battles. I have spent many years acquiring materials and tools to help you, for it WILL be you who must try and topple the tyranny that lives on this mountain.”
The old man levitated several items before Jeramyu, who took them into his hands. “A deck of cards. And a shard of a crystal.”
“Yes…” muttered the old man. “The time will come when you must use these in battle, to ensure the victory of justice.”
“Great. Uh… thanks.” Jeramyu said.
“Yeah. I’m sure we’ll put these to good use.” Porter said.
The old man closed his eyes for a second. Then opened them suddenly. “Oh! Wanna know how the next episode of The Way goes! Well first, Rhue…”
The bus lurched forward, stopping the old man’s words. There was a combination of Bill’s and Strayed’s laughter that followed.
“Well. Ok. Yuck. Someone clean the underside of the bus.” Jeramyu said, entering the bus.
“Exiled! Exiled!” Yapped Exiled. “See, I’m a pokemon. I can only say my own name!” The bus laughed.
“I give it a 9/10.” Glenn said.
“I shoot pokemon.” War commented.
“>_<. It sucked. 1/10.” Mocked Impossible.
“As per the advice of Sigmund Freud, I will now murder my father and rape my mother. Off I go!” Holstein Cow announced, rolling a short distance and stopping, realizing he couldn’t do that.
“Alright. Nothing to do here. Move along.” Jeramyu announced. The bus rolled on, and had to stop again.
“Did anyone notice that superfortress of doom?”
“Oh. That. Yeah.”
Before the Crestfallens’ bus, nestled away in the mountain, was a gigantic fortress. An orgy of metal and steel, guard towers surrounded the compound. Searchlights went up and down, and everywhere.
“Yeah.” Said Bill. “Wanna know what’s crazy? I had an intelligent conversation with blaksun. Isn’t that freaky?”
“Yes.” Said the waiter. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(best ending ever)
Last edited by
EmperorJeramyu on Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Unfortunately, the dragon only speaks in Napalm, a curious ancient language that you don't really need to speak to understand."