AIM conversation
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 3:50 amI thought I'd post this conversation I had with some random person on my friend's buddy list... I'm taking my friend's sceen name out, but I'll leave the girl's in... So feel free to do shit like this to her, too.
DazzleVness: ello??
Me: CALL JUSTIN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!
DazzleVness: i did
Me: CALL AGAIN!
DazzleVness: don't be so mean
Me: This isn't Bear.
DazzleVness: k
Me: You are speaking directly to God.
DazzleVness: cool
Me: Through this instant messanging service.
Me: So it's not really direct.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: But I really am God.
DazzleVness: HAHA
Me: So stop praying to me for the man of your dreams.
Me: HE DOESN'T EXIST!
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: that's ture
Me: I messed up trying to make him.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: And he became Sloth from the Goonies.
DazzleVness: lmao
Me: That's what you call the worlds biggest mistake.
DazzleVness: lmao
Me: I cut myself like an little emo bitch for weeks after that.
DazzleVness: so your emo god that's weird
Me: Jesus is emo too. He told me I don't understand him and his music.
Me: He cried black tears.
Me: But they were only black because his mascara was running.
DazzleVness: you sohould try the *NEW* diet patch god you need to lose some weight
DazzleVness: should*
Me: I am not fat.
Me: I am perfect in every manifestation.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: I am the epitome of sublime, and my androgenous sexuality qualifies me for a romance novel.
DazzleVness: oh really wants your gender
Me: I am the Man of Men!
Me: With a phallus the size of Africa.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: So God if i kill myself will i burn in hell
Me: Maybe...
Me: YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!
Me: There is no good and there is no evil.
Me: So the people that end up in hell are the ugly ones, really.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Burn in obscurity, you horrendously ugly cow.
DazzleVness: really and your god
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: you're*
Me: Yeah.
Me: I was waiting for that.
Me: I know it's hard to believe that I'm God... But have faith and I will make you beautiful.
Me: And thus you will avoid the burning in obscurity part.
DazzleVness: so i can kill myself
DazzleVness: and i won't burn
DazzleVness: yes
DazzleVness: ssssssssssssssssssss
Me: I don't like blood.
Me: It scares me. So if you kill yourself, I'LL MAKE YOU UGLY AGAIN!
Me: Even uglier than you are now.
Me: Don't kill yourself, 'cause I want to have next week off.
DazzleVness: Even uglier than you are now.
DazzleVness: that's fucked you god
DazzleVness: Even uglier than you are now.
DazzleVness: messed up
Me: Don't blame it on me.
DazzleVness: and i never sayed there was going to be blood
Me: Blame your parents for being ugly too.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: lol
Me: You guys are one fucking ugly family.
Me: I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: that's cool
Me: I should be ashamed. That way I can discourage overall uglyness.
DazzleVness: but you made us in your image
DazzleVness: so your ugly too
DazzleVness: and fat
Me: No. I didn't make you in my image.
Me: If I did, you would be as great as I am.
Me: BUT YOU'RE FUCKING NOT!
DazzleVness: that's what it says in the bible
Me: Ever play the game telephone?
Me: The Bible is like that.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: I told one person, he told another... And somewhere down the line, SHIT GOT FUCKED UP!
Me: Not my fault.
Me: And I'm too fucking lazy to fix shit.
Me: I don't do anything but watch.
Me: And laugh.
Me: I laugh a lot.
DazzleVness: yes t is you should know how to fit these things that happen
Me: 'Cause I made some pretty dumb shit.
Me: Like a programmer who makes shitty AI.
Me: I mean... Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to let EVERYONE drive?
Me: And don't get me started on the weird shit you people do to get off.
DazzleVness: why didn't noah kill the mesquitos
DazzleVness: or ow ever the hell you spell it
DazzleVness: ow*
DazzleVness: how*
Me: The penis and vagina were devised to make my job of creation easier. Not to fucking make me cry when the guy sticks his cock in an outlet or when a girl gets it on with fucking horse.
DazzleVness: you didn't answer my DAMN QUESTION
Me: Noah didn't kill the mesquitos because I needed something to be able to transport disease when I decide to kill you all.
DazzleVness: that's a little fucked don't you think
DazzleVness: your unsightly
DazzleVness: you're unsightly*
DazzleVness: hello god
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Unsightly?
Me: You're the ugly one, remember?
Me: Not me.
DazzleVness: yes and it's word too
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Don't question my vocabulary.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Question anything I do and I will give you tuberculosis.
DazzleVness: do you know the ten commandments
DazzleVness: ?
DazzleVness: i'm timing you
Me: I'll tell you the most important one.
Me: DON'T FUCKING QUESTION ME!
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: you don't how sad
Me: Moses is in charge of that bullshit, not me.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: lmao
DazzleVness: tell me the story about Job
Me: Fuck Job.
DazzleVness: i fought it
Me: He died a long time ago.
Me: No one cares anymore.
DazzleVness: lmao
DazzleVness: tell me how you created the earth
Me: Masturbation.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: That's how I created the earth.
Me: I masturbate a lot
Me: Notice all the stars in the sky?
DazzleVness: lol
Me: With a phallus the size of Africa, it's hard to find someone who can please you. So... I have to do it myself.
DazzleVness: so your lonely how sad
Me: I'm creating a new world right now...
DazzleVness: everyone goes to hell
DazzleVness: right
Me: Maybe.
DazzleVness: ahh
Me: Jessica Alba is going to Heaven.
Me: She's fucking hot.
DazzleVness: i new it that's why you're lonely
Me: Lonely? Yeah right.
Me: I talk to people like this every night. So don't think you're special.
Me: I fuck with their minds the day before they die.
DazzleVness: cool
Me: Your chosen death is overexertion while getting the Three Hole Slam.
DazzleVness: i'm going to die
DazzleVness: three hole slam amazing that's a first
Me: No it's not.
Me: I watched you the last night.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Three hole slammed by those guys from Haiti.
Me: Screamed so loud I had to check it out.
Me: I made a dozen new worlds, watching you go at it.
DazzleVness: that isn't funny
DazzleVness: you lost your touch
DazzleVness: it's fucken gay now
Me: Being God and all, I have a big interest in voyeurism.
Me: Losing my touch? I know. I stop caring about the quality of the people I make as the years go on.
Me: Next year people are only going to have four fingers. Sucks for you, you're going to miss getting that fifth one.
Me: I'm going to post this conversation on the internet.
Me: And change things to make you look like a whore.
DazzleVness: k
Me: Like the color of the text.
DazzleVness: that's fucked
Me: That's all I'll have to do.
DazzleVness: god has internet scary
Me: I made the internet.
Me: Out of the souls of people like you.
Me: That's why there is so much fucked up shit on it.
DazzleVness: ah
DazzleVness: i'm going to go
Me: You can't escape God.
Me: I'll be watching.
DazzleVness: this is stupid now
DazzleVness: haha funny
Me: Use the cucumber tonight.
Me: I like that.
DazzleVness signed off at 12:58:43 AM.
I thought some of it was funny, and the few people I showed it to already, did as well, so I thought I'd post it here. Hope you guys like it too.
DazzleVness: ello??
Me: CALL JUSTIN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!
DazzleVness: i did
Me: CALL AGAIN!
DazzleVness: don't be so mean
Me: This isn't Bear.
DazzleVness: k
Me: You are speaking directly to God.
DazzleVness: cool
Me: Through this instant messanging service.
Me: So it's not really direct.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: But I really am God.
DazzleVness: HAHA
Me: So stop praying to me for the man of your dreams.
Me: HE DOESN'T EXIST!
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: that's ture
Me: I messed up trying to make him.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: And he became Sloth from the Goonies.
DazzleVness: lmao
Me: That's what you call the worlds biggest mistake.
DazzleVness: lmao
Me: I cut myself like an little emo bitch for weeks after that.
DazzleVness: so your emo god that's weird
Me: Jesus is emo too. He told me I don't understand him and his music.
Me: He cried black tears.
Me: But they were only black because his mascara was running.
DazzleVness: you sohould try the *NEW* diet patch god you need to lose some weight
DazzleVness: should*
Me: I am not fat.
Me: I am perfect in every manifestation.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: I am the epitome of sublime, and my androgenous sexuality qualifies me for a romance novel.
DazzleVness: oh really wants your gender
Me: I am the Man of Men!
Me: With a phallus the size of Africa.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: So God if i kill myself will i burn in hell
Me: Maybe...
Me: YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!
Me: There is no good and there is no evil.
Me: So the people that end up in hell are the ugly ones, really.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Burn in obscurity, you horrendously ugly cow.
DazzleVness: really and your god
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: you're*
Me: Yeah.
Me: I was waiting for that.
Me: I know it's hard to believe that I'm God... But have faith and I will make you beautiful.
Me: And thus you will avoid the burning in obscurity part.
DazzleVness: so i can kill myself
DazzleVness: and i won't burn
DazzleVness: yes
DazzleVness: ssssssssssssssssssss
Me: I don't like blood.
Me: It scares me. So if you kill yourself, I'LL MAKE YOU UGLY AGAIN!
Me: Even uglier than you are now.
Me: Don't kill yourself, 'cause I want to have next week off.
DazzleVness: Even uglier than you are now.
DazzleVness: that's fucked you god
DazzleVness: Even uglier than you are now.
DazzleVness: messed up
Me: Don't blame it on me.
DazzleVness: and i never sayed there was going to be blood
Me: Blame your parents for being ugly too.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: lol
Me: You guys are one fucking ugly family.
Me: I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: that's cool
Me: I should be ashamed. That way I can discourage overall uglyness.
DazzleVness: but you made us in your image
DazzleVness: so your ugly too
DazzleVness: and fat
Me: No. I didn't make you in my image.
Me: If I did, you would be as great as I am.
Me: BUT YOU'RE FUCKING NOT!
DazzleVness: that's what it says in the bible
Me: Ever play the game telephone?
Me: The Bible is like that.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: I told one person, he told another... And somewhere down the line, SHIT GOT FUCKED UP!
Me: Not my fault.
Me: And I'm too fucking lazy to fix shit.
Me: I don't do anything but watch.
Me: And laugh.
Me: I laugh a lot.
DazzleVness: yes t is you should know how to fit these things that happen
Me: 'Cause I made some pretty dumb shit.
Me: Like a programmer who makes shitty AI.
Me: I mean... Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to let EVERYONE drive?
Me: And don't get me started on the weird shit you people do to get off.
DazzleVness: why didn't noah kill the mesquitos
DazzleVness: or ow ever the hell you spell it
DazzleVness: ow*
DazzleVness: how*
Me: The penis and vagina were devised to make my job of creation easier. Not to fucking make me cry when the guy sticks his cock in an outlet or when a girl gets it on with fucking horse.
DazzleVness: you didn't answer my DAMN QUESTION
Me: Noah didn't kill the mesquitos because I needed something to be able to transport disease when I decide to kill you all.
DazzleVness: that's a little fucked don't you think
DazzleVness: your unsightly
DazzleVness: you're unsightly*
DazzleVness: hello god
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Unsightly?
Me: You're the ugly one, remember?
Me: Not me.
DazzleVness: yes and it's word too
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Don't question my vocabulary.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Question anything I do and I will give you tuberculosis.
DazzleVness: do you know the ten commandments
DazzleVness: ?
DazzleVness: i'm timing you
Me: I'll tell you the most important one.
Me: DON'T FUCKING QUESTION ME!
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: you don't how sad
Me: Moses is in charge of that bullshit, not me.
DazzleVness: lol
DazzleVness: lmao
DazzleVness: tell me the story about Job
Me: Fuck Job.
DazzleVness: i fought it
Me: He died a long time ago.
Me: No one cares anymore.
DazzleVness: lmao
DazzleVness: tell me how you created the earth
Me: Masturbation.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: That's how I created the earth.
Me: I masturbate a lot
Me: Notice all the stars in the sky?
DazzleVness: lol
Me: With a phallus the size of Africa, it's hard to find someone who can please you. So... I have to do it myself.
DazzleVness: so your lonely how sad
Me: I'm creating a new world right now...
DazzleVness: everyone goes to hell
DazzleVness: right
Me: Maybe.
DazzleVness: ahh
Me: Jessica Alba is going to Heaven.
Me: She's fucking hot.
DazzleVness: i new it that's why you're lonely
Me: Lonely? Yeah right.
Me: I talk to people like this every night. So don't think you're special.
Me: I fuck with their minds the day before they die.
DazzleVness: cool
Me: Your chosen death is overexertion while getting the Three Hole Slam.
DazzleVness: i'm going to die
DazzleVness: three hole slam amazing that's a first
Me: No it's not.
Me: I watched you the last night.
DazzleVness: lol
Me: Three hole slammed by those guys from Haiti.
Me: Screamed so loud I had to check it out.
Me: I made a dozen new worlds, watching you go at it.
DazzleVness: that isn't funny
DazzleVness: you lost your touch
DazzleVness: it's fucken gay now
Me: Being God and all, I have a big interest in voyeurism.
Me: Losing my touch? I know. I stop caring about the quality of the people I make as the years go on.
Me: Next year people are only going to have four fingers. Sucks for you, you're going to miss getting that fifth one.
Me: I'm going to post this conversation on the internet.
Me: And change things to make you look like a whore.
DazzleVness: k
Me: Like the color of the text.
DazzleVness: that's fucked
Me: That's all I'll have to do.
DazzleVness: god has internet scary
Me: I made the internet.
Me: Out of the souls of people like you.
Me: That's why there is so much fucked up shit on it.
DazzleVness: ah
DazzleVness: i'm going to go
Me: You can't escape God.
Me: I'll be watching.
DazzleVness: this is stupid now
DazzleVness: haha funny
Me: Use the cucumber tonight.
Me: I like that.
DazzleVness signed off at 12:58:43 AM.
I thought some of it was funny, and the few people I showed it to already, did as well, so I thought I'd post it here. Hope you guys like it too.
