Telephalsion wrote:yes I think my poems are good, if I don't think they are good they end up in the trashcan.
Since it's become a controversial point, and I have naught else to do just now, I have reread most of your poetry, and I thought I might offer a few comments. In general, your technique is good. Your word choices work well, and I would suggest that you continue to hone this talent, because in poetry, diction is critically important. The writing is also very emotive; you are quite effective at carrying your reader to a particular affective location. This is another crucial skill required for the production of facund verse. (I think, however, that you might want to shift your selection of topics somewhat; see below.)
I would suggest that you might want to reconsider somewhat the format of your poems. There are two points about your work that struck me in this respect. First, many of your poems seem very regimented in form; sometimes this works for you, but sometimes I think it diminishes the effect, because the strictures of the form come to dominate the impression that you leave, squeezing out the detailed structure of the verbiage. Second, your poems often seem a bit overlong, and some careful pruning might improve them. You seem perhaps to be trying too hard to make your points.
Your work also seems to focus too much on teenage angst. All adolscents experience the same feelings of isolation and bitterness that your poems express, and this does give your work a measure of univesality; however, it also means that there is very little one can say in this area that will seem authentically original. Moreover, while your commitment to the subject matter is evidently profound and sincere, the emotional states you portray actually seem rather overplayed. While your writing might seem deeply resonant to someone your own age, it is likely to sound vapid and excessively self-absorbed to an adult. In fact, the callow difficulties you describe are frequently looked back upon as rather humorous trifles. As trying as puberty may seem as one experiences it, one can easily come to laugh at these circumstances in retrospect.
I do not mean this as a criticism of you, personally. My own poetry suffered from the same difficulties when I was younger. This is a common characteristic of art produced in youth. (It applies in arts beyond writing, as well. Mozart, who developed his compositional style before he was ten, wrote beautiful music, but it's all very puerile in its emotional depth.) Your emoting is easily effective enough that you could turn it to another topic--even one that you may personally feel somewhat less invested in--and still produce worthwhile verse.
ttyl)
