1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at
your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with
cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face
with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off
shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower Spray mold spots
with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for
zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,
shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly
physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your
ass.
4. Get in the shower
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make
fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the
shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off
and get out of shower.
15 Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on
floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire
wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on
floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your
waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make
the 'woo-woo' sound.. again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this
joke, there is something so very wrong with you.
