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The Penis deserves a raise!

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The Penis deserves a raise!

Postby Porter » Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:11 am

Penis Requests a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management
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Postby Impossible » Wed Dec 08, 2004 2:53 am

Nice.
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Postby Excell » Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:14 pm

:lol:
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Porter licks dicks.
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Postby Glenn47 » Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:35 pm

Lol, I've seen that. Still good though.
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Postby Sage Of The Wise » Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:48 pm

Ive seen the request before, but not the response, very funny!
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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Postby Exiled » Fri Dec 10, 2004 5:46 pm

:lol:
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Postby Teenr0cker » Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:25 am

Ha! Funny! I think I saw that in the text section of ebaums.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Tekkage » Tue Dec 28, 2004 1:54 am

:)
No, wait...
:D
No, wait...
:shock:


LOL That's funny dude.



PS: No one know who I am. This is because I am a newb. Impossible, please do not flame me for this PS.

PS Impossible sucks.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Tue Dec 28, 2004 1:58 am

I think impossible will flame him if Tekkages name is related to tekken, the overhauled arcade game.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Inderos » Tue Dec 28, 2004 2:37 am

Is it like Tekk-age? Or Tek-kage?
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Postby Greatchickenman » Tue Dec 28, 2004 9:41 am

I think I've seen Tekkage before.
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Postby Impossible » Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:34 pm

Tekkage wrote::) PS: No one know who I am. This is because I am a newb. Impossible, please do not flame me for this PS.

PS Impossible sucks.


Um... Okay... WTF?

Teenr0cker wrote:I think impossible will flame him if Tekkages name is related to tekken, the overhauled arcade game.


Um... Okay... WTF?
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Alligations

Postby Teenr0cker » Wed Dec 29, 2004 10:28 pm

Since Impossible cant object to our assumptions too often, we can make obscene alligations and he cant tell us we are wrong.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Re: Alligations

Postby EmperorJeramyu » Thu Dec 30, 2004 12:12 am

Teenr0cker wrote:Since Impossible cant object to our assumptions too often, we can make obscene alligations and he cant tell us we are wrong.


Um... Okay... WTF?
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Postby Teenr0cker » Thu Dec 30, 2004 1:10 am

Please tell me you are just joking. I cant really tell.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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