by EmperorJeramyu » Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:53 pm
Alright kids.
"The challenge"
“A…a…a…A FURRY!!!” The group screamed at once.
The ground started shaking. Madly. With the power of hatred. Holstein Cow burst through 20some solid walls.
“MUST!!!! KILLL!!!!!” He screamed with intensity.
But right as Holstein was about the crush the furry, an invisible barrier pushed him back.
The furry shook its head. “I am Luna Xantha Ritika, supreme ruler of this fortress. I welcome you to my abode.”
“That’s a stupid name. I don’t want to be in your abode.” Jeramyu scoffed, still upset at the reverse-engineering of his telekinetic barrier.
“Give us Lun, you bastard!!” Porter shouted.
“Now, now.” The furry scolded. “Ask nicely.”
The Crestfallen few stood silent.
“Actually, yeah, I still wouldn’t hand him over. Mwahahahaha!!!” Luna Xantha Ritika laughed.
“This is so lame.” Jeramyu remarked.
“Ahah. Well. Yes, I do have your Lun, but I’m not willing to give him up easily. For you see, you are not the only ones who seek his power.”
“What the hell are you talking about, bitch!? I’ll kill you!!” Excell shouted obnoxiously.
“The power of ingenuity like that of Lun’s is a rare commodity. There are many out there who would wish to take that power for themselves.”
“We don’t want to siphon his power.” Exiled said, shaking his head. “We want him to come back to his community so he can continue making great games.
“Mwaha! A touching story, but it really doesn’t matter. The truth is, you’re going to have to fight for him, just like everyone else.”
“Great, we get to rescue Lun, and kill people all at once.” Said War. “I like this combo.”
Glenn stepped up. “What do you mean ‘fight for him’?”
“My friends!!!” The furry announced, spreading his arms for emphasis, “You are all hereby invited, to the grandest of all fighting tournaments the world has ever seen!”
“Tournament, what the hell is this? Dragonball Z?” Jeramyu said, raising an eyebrow.
“Warriors have come far and wide to my citadel, to compete for Lun’s life! A few of you will now be given a chance to vie for this chance as well.” The furry proclaimed. “And by a few, I mean three. Choose wisely.”
“Great. We’re going to have to have a tournament of our own to decide to who’s going to get in… >_>” Impossible muttered.
“Well, I’m out!” Iteroth announced. “See you all later!”
But as he tried to leave, Iteroth found himself blocked by more barriers. “Fool! No one can leave until the tournament is over.” The furry warned. “Oh, and here is an official rules sheet, peruse it wisely. Mwahahahahahaha!!!”
The furry vanished.
“I’m in.” Stated War immediately.
“Nope, sorry, it says ‘no heavy artillery save the animals ^__^’ on the sheet.” Jeramyu read.
“Ok… fine. I’ll just have to go machete.” War grumbled.
“Uh… wow. It says ‘No people named War allowed in the tournament’…” Jeramyu read again.
Before War could light a grenade, Porter spoke. “Hey, uh… you can be our professional… uh… cheerleader. Uh, I mean, cheerleader… of… doom. Yeah.”
War looked at Porter awkwardly.
“Uh… basically, you hang out in the stands, and shoot anyone who doesn’t cheer for us. Sound fun.”
“It’ll have to do…” War muttered.
“Ok. Great. Hmmm, Impossible, would you like to fight?” Jeramyu suggested.
“I hate you. Die. >_> <_< >_<.”
“Well then… uh… Exiled.” Jeramyu said.
Exiled was staring blankly into space.
“Never mind.” Jeramyu sighed. “Excell, I’m sure you’re more than willing.”
“Nah. As much as I’d like to tear up the arena, I feel I can get more satisfaction out of performing every single act of pranking ever invented on the crowd. I mean, look at all these people! They’re all just begging for wedgies!”
“Fair enough.” Jeramyu said. “Moving on… Holstein. Sorry, but you’re over the maximum dimensions for a participant. Go crack some skulls or something.”
“Is it just me…” Glenn started, “Or is there going to be more carnage among the audience then there will be in the arena?”
“Yeah, well, you can’t fight. Your parents wouldn’t approve or something.” Porter snickered.
“Chalk strayed up to the ‘kill audience’ group, because there’s a no ghost rule in effect as well.” Jeramyu stated.
“Count me out too,” Porter shrugged, “One on one combat to the death isn’t really my thing.”
“I guess we have our three then. Me, Bill, and Fitz.” Jeramyu announced.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” Burst out Bill. The rest of the few tried to ignore.
A hologram of Luna appeared. “The tournament will start tomorrow morning at sunrise sharp. You will find your room located down the hall. May I remind you that the tournament tree will be assigned randomly, so you may find yourself fighting your friends!!! Mwahahaha!!!”
The hologram disappeared.
“Wait. We all have to sleep in the same room?” Jeramyu said nervously.
“No. Hell no. No way.” Impossible stated. “I hate you all too much.”
“No hatred, maaaaaannnn…” Iteroth slurred between huffs of nasty and unknown chemicals.
Impossible’s eyebrow twitched in a corny anime fashion, and he promptly stormed off.
“Well, if no one else has any objections, I guess we’d better rest up for the big day tomorrow.” Jeramyu sighed. The few walked off together down the hallway.
“So… it looks like we’re not even going to do anything in this season at all.” Verb muttered, staring out the moonbase’s gigantic observation window.
“Yeah. Kind of like… last season, yeah.” Otaku responded.
"Unfortunately, the dragon only speaks in Napalm, a curious ancient language that you don't really need to speak to understand."