Impossible's Adventures in Some Other Country

[Impossible]

It was originally going to say "America", but I felt the need to make fun of you some how. It was worse before; I wouldn't want to offend anyone. >_< Except War.

I'll use this topic to report on my experiences in your strange, crazy land where you go up and down in "elevators" can't can't pronounce "tomato" for shit. I'm also told you call a barbecue a "cookout". What the fuck? (Apparently, I'm wrong, unless it's just certain parts of America)

Tuesday, December 28, Day 1 - Melbourne-Los Angeles-New York
The 38-Hour Day

Anyway, I don't know how much time I'll have on computers, so in the worst cast scenario I'll go through everything when I get back. This was posted from the lounge in Melbourne (fuck you, Porter) on my Dad's laptop. They have wireless internet there, but they charge for it. So I connected to the free network of a nearby lounge for another airline.

I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but I have the shittiest luck in pretty much all aspects of life. Things enjoy going wrong for me just for the sake of it - in gaming, holidays, family, school, and much more. And, far from the first time in my life, my flight was delayed, by an hour and forty minutes. But we flew to Los Angeles and then on another flight to New York, so it really just ends up meaning less time in LA, since we had to stay there for a few hours anyway.

---

Yay, I may have some Internet access in New York.

You know how digging through the center of the Earth from the US gets you to China? Well, if you dig through the center of the Earth from Canada, you get to Australia (maybe).

So yeah, the fantastic thing about flying to the other side of the world is that the "gradient", so to speak, of your flight, is much lower. So I actually pass through over one time zone in an hour! It's good; I arrived on the same day I left that way.

And, with my fantastic luck, I managed to have a crying baby keeping me awake on the plane. And, as it always is for me, when I finally got to sleep, I ended up missing breakfast (and then waking up after a short while). And since they sort of switched from Melbourne to LA in the middle of the flight, there was no dinner, either. I was pretty damn hungry. >_<

Anyway, we went through the ridiculous and paranoid security at Los Angeles, which was a lot more than really necessary. But I learnt that you're apparently not an eligible terrorist unless you're at least fourteen years old. On one hand, what the fuck kind of terrorist is 14?
On the other, what about the 13-year-old terrorists...?

[Teenr0cker]

Impossible, It truely is a shame I'm not there right now...I'd really like to just take the half hour drive down to LAX, look for a jew, ask them if they are in their midteens and go by the ailias impossible, walk away....throw your guard off.....then jump tackle you from behind and tatoo the xbox symbol on your forehead



Then I'd call you a stupid jew in front of your parents, telling you to not come back until E3 like the smart poeple do. Then I would leave...




...only to sneak up behind you and bean you in the head with my shoe...and then reveal who I am unless you havent already guessed.



But really....that'd be funny

[Strayed Wanderer]

What in fuck would you call elevators..?

[Teenr0cker]

They dont have those kinds of privlages. They use kangaroos and they hop all the way up to the next floor. Duh!

[Tekkage]

They call elevators "lifts". And by the way, we don't call barbecues "cookouts". Where the hell do you get your info... by the way, im tired of living in america so if I could replace you on your flight back to australia that would be great.

On the other hand, I would have to dress up as you... no thanks

[Porter]

??

We call barbeque's "barbeques" Where did that come from?

[Impossible]

Wednesday, December 29, Day 2 - New York
Some Other City in Some Other Country

Today I went around Manhattan a bit. Firstly, the DS is sold out EVERYWHERE. I played about 15 seconds of MPH in a store before my parents dragged me out, while in comparison, up to two hours of my day were spent standing around in shitty clothes stores and other useless places while my other family members did whatever they want. At least there's stuff to look at in Toys R Us...

Conviniently, the taxis all seem to change shifts or some shit from 4-5 PM, which was exactly when we wanted to go back to the hotel. So we were waiting for an hour, until we finally managed to get one, and had to squeeze five people (four in the back seats) in for 20 minutes or so, too. It sucks.

It's also cold. At least in Australia, we don't need a hat, gloves and jacket just to go outside.

I had to share a double bed with my little brother. It's really, really horrible. And for the first two nights, I woke up at 5 AM.

I'm just begging there's another DS shipment I have access to before I go home...

[Porter]

Wow, all the way in New York already?

I hated it in New York everytime I've gone there. Downtown is really cool, like Times Square, but everything costs so much. And the people there, forget about it. The most souless people in the world live in NYC.

[Impossible]

BUT THEY HAVE BAGELS!

And not DSes!

[Flibbo]

i'll probably visit america sometime but not for a while
seen any weired shit yet?

[Teenr0cker]

Yeah, have you seen bigfoot yet. Or that chupathingy? Or a redneck?

[Strayed Wanderer]

Get out of my state you damn dirty aussie.

[EmperorJeramyu]

It's also cold. At least in Australia, we don't need a hat, gloves and jacket just to go outside.

Cry me a river. We have 3 feet of snow and it's been below 15 farenheit for a week.

[Teenr0cker]

Well in australia, apparently theres an ozone hole above them, so you need spf 70 to keep your skin from blistering after fifteen minutes

[Flibbo]

It's also cold. At least in Australia, we don't need a hat, gloves and jacket just to go outside.

Cry me a river. We have 3 feet of snow and it's been below 15 farenheit for a week.

well cry you a river i'd kill for snow, i live for cold weather