by EmperorJeramyu » Fri Jan 28, 2005 9:31 pm
"The Grand Tournament"
Jeramyu awoke early, and met up with Fitz, who was a zombie, and didn’t need sleep. Together they walked into the corridor that ran around the arena pit entrances. A chart was posted.
“Well, assuming we’re going to win all our matches, which we will, because the good guys always win, and because I’m writing this, and I know that we’re all going to win, it looks like you’ll have to face Bill in the semi-finals.” Jeramyu said.
“I doubt it, something will probably inhibit that match from happening, because otherwise there would be some stupid division on the forums where people would create dumb topics because they’re obsessed with themselves.” Fitz responded.
“Didactically speaking, seminal evidence seems to explicate the fact that your repudiation of entropy supports my theory of time space synthesis. Of this, I am irrefutably confident.” Jeramyu exclaimed.
Fitz blinked for a few seconds, and then spotted something on Jeramyu’s hand. “Uh, is that shit on your finger?”
“What? Yeah. Woops.”
Gradually, the rest of the Crestfallen woke to the day of anxieties. People and furries from far and wide were packing the stands around the gigantic dusty pit. Most of the Crestfallen were able to restrain themselves till the match, but poor Holstein had to be chained by an unpleasant amount of orifices.
Jeramyu approached Bill. “Who’re you up against first?” Jeramyu asked.
“Some fool named ‘Generic filler guy 43462’.” Replied Bill.
“Oh. Lucky sob. I have to face off against the skilled ‘Generic filler guy 32351’.” Jeramyu lamented. “My match is up right now. Time to kick some ass.”
Bill raised an eyebrow. “Speaking of ass… your finger.”
“What? Dammit! Again!”
The gate on the south side of the arena pit opened, and Jeramyu entered to the applause of some.
The other gate opened. An RTP Alex walked out. “Grrr! I’m generic guy 32351! I’m about to get generic on your ass!” He said.
Luna Xantha Ritika stepped out onto a balcony. “Welcome all, to the grand tournament, where the fighters duel to the death for a shot at harnessing the immense creative power of the legendary LunC!”
“Hey you! Dumbshit! You smell like stinky ass, and you look stinky ass, and your ass is stinky!” Shouted Excell.
Luna coughed. “Our first match pits the Crestfallen Few’s premier moderator, Jeramyu, against some generic guy who you don’t care about! Let the match begin!”
The generic guy ran forward. “AHHHH!!! GENERIC SLASH!!!” He screamed stupidly.
The generic slash hit Jeramyu. “Oh no. I feel myself becoming more boring.” He complained sarcastically.
“Hwah! Generic fire ball!” The generic shouted. A typical looking fireball shot forward. Jeramyu strafed to the right. The fireball hit the wall and exploded, leaving some boring looking ash on the ground.
Taking the open opportunity, Jeramyu whipped out a light saber and cut a gigantic spike of the generic guy’s hair off.
“I AM DAMAGED!!!” He screamed aloud. “BUT! You have filled my limit break gauge! I will now unleash some utter ass whipping on you!”. The generic guy jumped back, and started to focus energy into his sword. “YYAAAARRRGHHH!!! HERE WE GO!!! SUPER SPARKLY SLASH!!!”
His blade made a shimmering slash across Jeramyu, who took a step back. He rubbed his chin. “That was impressive, but you have filled MY limit break gauge. Now I will belong all your base to me!”
Jeramyu failed to take a cool stance. “My limit break is called loser. It makes you lose.”
The generic guy came to the amazing realization that he had lost. “NOOO!!! I HAVE LOST!!!” He shouted stupidly. The Alex clone promptly exploded.
Porter stood up. “HOHOHO!! GENERIC GUY MAKE FUNNY! PORTER TUMMY GO RUMB RUMB!!”
"Unfortunately, the dragon only speaks in Napalm, a curious ancient language that you don't really need to speak to understand."