A lone wanderer walks into a town

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Postby Teenr0cker » Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:17 pm

It's not Bill.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Porter » Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:41 pm

It's your evil twin.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:53 pm

A french person? I doubt it. Nobody will ever know.....err...
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Takarious » Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:20 am

It's a trick question. Bill IS a Jehovas witness.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:47 am

I would use a whole myriad of emoticons right now if my javascript were usable, just to show my pain here...



I'll update later in the week since I need to update more on my typing. I feel better if theres at least a page between what you have and what I have. I hope you understand that....


cause if ya don't, then cry me a river, build me a bridge, and fuckin jump off.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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It's double posting madness I tells ya!

Postby Teenr0cker » Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:15 am

Here's the next, non-Bill part. Enjoy.




The tanned wanderer with sandy, messy hair had proceeded into the Estrana building, which was normal, except that he was floating a good meter off the floor. The wanderer scanned the room with his fiery red eyes and spotted Teen. In a flash of white smoke, the wanderer had transformed into a very large dagger and then propelled himself directly at Teen. Teen instinctively cringed in fear and shut his eyes, prepared for whatever happened next.

After a few moments, Teen opened his eyes to find the tip of the dagger a hairsbreadth away from his forehead. With another poof, the dagger became a non-levitating human. Teen, finally finding his voice, began yammering “B-b-bu-bu-b-b-but that’s … that’s completely Impo-“ “Impossible? Not for me!” the wanderer broke in. Why was everyone interrupting Teen?

“It’s great to finally meet you outside of the city of Faqquery!” the visitor proclaimed. Faqquery? Teen racked his brain, struggling to remember the familiar word. “How you doing? Last I saw, you were still a scribe for the Breath of Fire 2 board.” That was it. “Nice to meet you face to face Impossible,” Teen said. It was more like face to shovel, seeing as how Impossible had transformed again.

After awhile, Teen noticed Impossible was almost completely random in both personality and in shape. “Oh yeah, I kinda have to focus not to shift from human form…YOUR MOOSE HORNS ARE MINE, FRESHMAKER!!!” he said, randomly blurting out insults.

Impossible browsed through the various books and replied to some, most with great apathy. Impossible, now a mongoose with 7 legs, scurried over to the sticky book Teen had written in. “I hope you’re happy. Not five total entries and you’ve fucked things up,” he said, using the mouth located where a mongooses’ ass should be. Teen was just about to ask him what he meant by that when Impossible blew up. Teen, by now, had gotten used to Impossibles’ spontaneous combustion, except that Impossible had blown up due to the hundreds of purple fireballs that had been launched at him.

“OH, IT’S ON NOW BITCH!!!” a booming voice emanated from outside. “I see he found my gift quite…enjoyable,” Impossible told Teen while his liquefied body reformed. “Should you get involved, would you be on my side or his?” Impossible said, his eyes locked on Teen. “I won’t become involved in your struggles,” Teen said firmly.

As Impossible began ghosting through the floor, he turned to Teen and said, “It looks like you have a problem of your own. Later.” Teen barely had time to lift his eyes from where Impossible had disappeared to see the ninja lift his katana above his head and launch himself at Teen from the rafters. Teen had mere moments to react, but he knew he was a goner. He instinctively threw his arms in front of him and waited for his death.


What happens to me? Why were those fireballs purple? Was thier caster gay? Why is a ninja attacking me? Answers to some of these questions and more in the next part of my story that I have been too lazy to name!
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Impossible » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:46 am

Impossible browsed through the various books and replied to some, most with great apathy. Impossible, now a mongoose with 7 legs, scurried over to the sticky book Teen had written in. “I hope you’re happy. Not five total entries and you’ve fucked things up,” he said, using the mouth located where a mongooses’ ass should be. Teen was just about to ask him what he meant by that when Impossible blew up. Teen, by now, had gotten used to Impossibles’ spontaneous combustion, except that Impossible had blown up due to the hundreds of purple fireballs that had been launched at him.


That is exactly what happened when he first came here. Wow, how amazing.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:53 pm

Your name is fucking Impossible. The point of your randomness is that you live up to your namesake by being impossible and doing the impossible. And the gay fireballs are semi-symbolic. I'm posting at the school right now (I'm such a rebel like Glenn), so more details later
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Glenn47 » Thu Feb 03, 2005 6:18 pm

Hold on...you didn't even mention that a ninja had walked into the room. You also didn't mention that the ninja was the one who sent the fireballs. Also, Impossible and I almost never argue with each other. Nor do I...hurl fireballs at Impossible for pure amusement. Although the ones I heal ARE purple. Like psychic purple. That should officially be a crayon.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Thu Feb 03, 2005 8:08 pm

Firstoff, Ninjas don't walk into the room, they somehow enter and choose to reveal themselves at the proper time (helloOo, havent you read the guide to real ultimate power?).

Secondly: I have a problem of my own...as in another attacker...as in I leave it to you to guess that the ninja didn't hurl the fireballs and that someone else attacked Impossible with flames.


C) The color must be made by Crayola, not roseart, since they suck at making crayons.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Glenn47 » Sun Feb 06, 2005 3:27 pm

Rose-art crayons are too waxy. Crayola would be sweet.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Mon Feb 07, 2005 10:51 am

I'm back at school now. I've tested the crayons during first period cause math is boring and Glenn is correct. Crayola rules. I'm sorry I haven't updated lately, I'll try to do so later this week after I finish an essay I have due this week.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Teenr0cker » Tue Mar 01, 2005 7:42 pm

w00t! A BRAND NEW UPDATE MOTHA ....nevermind...just read it....

Teen found himself in a deep void. Not like a hole that he was plummeting down through, but a zero-g, empty white space. “This must be limbo or something,” Teen thought to himself.

As Teen slowly rotated and wondered why he hadn’t exploded due to lack of atmospheric pressure, he spotted a spec in a distant location. Teen wished to discover what the spec was. Perhaps, a human? But with no means of resistance to propel himself forward, Teen was doomed to just drift aimlessly.

Panic set in as Teen realized he could be trapped here forever. After a small moment of hysteria, Teen struggled to calm himself down by closing his eyes, taking in a deep breath, and relaxing his body. A few seconds later, Teen found himself floating towards the spec, which was rapidly increasing in size as he approached.

Teen still had a great ways to go and wondered how he started moving, or, more importantly, how he could move faster. He then realized he had exhaled quickly when he was calming himself down. Teen grinned and decided to gently inhale, lower his head, and exhale to move himself forward. After awhile, Teen decided to release some methane gas to speed up his process.

As Teen sped towards the spec, which he now saw was a person, he realized he had no time to stop. Moments before collision, Teen bounced off a round surface, perhaps a force field, and skidded to a halt…skidded? Teen now had a surface below him to stand upon: from where it came, he knew not.

Teen got up and recognized the spec was none other than the robed figure of Jera. As Teen began to ask, “Where are we?” he was quickly interrupted by Jera, who said “ we’re in a private dimension where I like to go to get away from everything.” Teen was about to ask why he’d been taken here when Jera told him “you’re here because you are too boring. You seem to have a normal personality but you lack the ability to apply such uniqueness to the tangible realm.”

Teen thought of these comments, whether criticism or simply stating the truth, they seemed insulting. Teen looked at Jera, the ruler of the realm Teen had decided to enter, and found him idly making his crown, a simple golden band, gyrate to and fro in front of his face. “It seems one must be exciting to be permitted to stay in such a town,” Teen conjectured aloud. “Precisely,” Jera concluded with a snap of his fingers.

Teen glowed blue for a second, which seemed odd to him since he didn’t normally glow blue on any occasion. Then he was red, then green, black, purple, a mix of primary and secondary colors in swirls, and other random colors until it settled on a pale, sky blue. Jera’s eyes were glazed over for a second until the color changes stopped.

Jera told Teen while he adjusted his cape and crown,“ You know, it’s not too healthy to go off-topic, especially on a sticky topic. Doing so may have some major effects.” Then, with a minor nod, Jera forced Teen backwards with some sort of ball of air that came out of nowhere. Just before Teen was too far to hear properly, Jera called out “I’ll let you find out for yourself which abilities you have. Try to expand a little!” And with a “poof!” Teen disappeared back to his proper dimension.

The ninja, still in mid-leap-attack, pondered where his target had gone off to in an instant. He had just locked eyes with his victim and already had his katana poised for the driving strike that would utterly annihilate his opponent due to the sheer force of the fall combined with the amazing powers of his blade and his own talents. The ninja was about to cancel the blow by sheathing his weapon when, out of seemingly nowhere, Teen appeared. The ninja, hoping his target wouldn’t teleport like that again, decided to force the required energy to destroy Teen from his hands to his blade. He gave his katana handle a squeeze and drove the sword down in a powerful slash. Impact.

The assassin ninja had a grin on his face, though one couldn’t see it due to the veil over his face from the nose down and the forehead up. It had been executed perfectly. At least, that’s what he thought for a moment before he noticed he was bouncing away in the opposite direction.

The ninja’s eyes were wide in wonder as he gazed upon Teen. Both of them scrambled to their feet and pondered what had just happened. It was only then that Teen noticed the pale blue light that seemed to hover just above his skin and gave off a low hum.

Before the ninja had time to react, Teen concentrated on the shape of a circle for a moment, and found his force field expanding around him. Feeling like quite the hairless hamster, Teen ran, or rather rolled, in his ball toward the ninja. With great momentum, Teen slammed into the ninja, who had foolishly been throwing stars at Teen…as in the pointy metal discs, not to be confused with the super-dense balls of burning gases.

After slamming the ninja into several bookcases, Teen visualized a shoe in his mind and proceeded to project a large, blue shoe which then threw itself at the ninja until it was both beaten and knocked out.

As Teen approached the beaten form, he noticed that the ninja’s mask had somehow come off, revealing the tangles of silvery and very light-hued purple streaks of hair. With no apparent trepidation, Teen grabbed the ninja and tossed him into one of the armchairs, sure that the ninja was out cold. Much to Teen’s surprise, the ninja was not out cold, and was very unhappy. What shocked Teen even more was what happened next. “WHOOOO-WEEEE! That was one hell of a shoe!” the ninja said while relocating his shoulder.
The ninja got to his feet, right hand extended towards Teen, intent on a handshake or a judo chop. The ninja grinned a friendly smile and shook Teen’s hand…only to whack at some pointy area of pressure on Teen’s neck. “By the way, I’m Glenn. Nice to meet you!” he said, confusing a twitching Teen. “Oh dear, I seemed to have donned my mask again,” Glenn exclaimed. Trying to sound not so stupid in front of his visitor, Teen asked him to articulate on the matter. Glenn explained that his ninja outfit was a set of clothes that were imbued with some pretty cool magic and “1337” powers, but at the cost of temporarily losing control right after waking up and flipping out on people. Like totally flipping out.

As Glenn removed the black folds of the suit, Teen saw he was a lean person, donned with black armor with a silver rim and shocking electric blue eyes that jumped out of his pale and fine facial features. Teen noticed very little of his skin was left exposed and his eyes fell on the katana Glenn had picked back up and placed by his waist.
After a moment of silence, a noise outside brought Teen to his senses and he ran outside, remembering Impossible had planned to engage an enemy of his own for awhile. On his way to the door, Glenn rushed in from out of thin air and opened the door for Teen with a nicer smile than before. As they made their way out, a very odd sight fell before them. A tall figure, presumably Impossible, made entirely out of AOL trial CDs stood a short distance away from a figure hunched over a Topic Book, writing furiously in it. Teen was surprised that the man wanted nobody to hear it before it was delivered, assuming that it must have been urgent. The person suddenly got up, slammed the book shut, and threw the book at Impossible…along with a bottle containing a yellow gas marked with an ‘F’. Teen was about to tell Impossible that the bottle most likely contained the isolated element Fluorine, a volatile and very explosive halogen but it was too late. A huge explosion rocked the ground and rendered many faraway dams for little Dutch people broken, letting loose a horrible flood. After many minutes, the dust cleared, revealing an unfazed Impossible in the same crouch, muttering into the book. The opponent recovered from the shock and lobbed a grenade at Impossible. “What?” Glenn asked, confused. “Those discs are practically indestructible. He’s fine,” Teen explained, standing with ease. “The only way to get rid of them is to send them to a sun. Anything less is just a waste. But that doesn’t even matter right now,” Teen continued.

The crowd was in a hush during that time… The grenade sailed from the attackers hand. One second. Impossible closed the topic book. Two. The grenade was finishing it’s arc. Three. The assailant covered his ears, bracing for the explosion. Four. Somebody had a seizure and fell to the floor. Five.


I do not have any more typed up in advance right now, which means I'm not holding anything back at this time.I might have some time for a few more pages later this weekend, but whatever...
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
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Postby Glenn47 » Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:38 pm

Teenr0cker wrote: Glenn explained that his ninja outfit was a set of clothes that were imbued with some pretty cool magic and “1337” powers, but at the cost of temporarily losing control right after waking up and flipping out on people. Like totally flipping out.


Way to cover for my "better moments" Teen. :roll:
Actually that was pretty cool. Not sure where the purple hair and lightning-blue eyes came from, but that's pretty kickass in itself.
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Postby ReaperGal » Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:41 pm

I want a cameo...
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