Hahaha what do you know...

[Takarious]

Recently I got my ASVAB scores back (Yea, I took it too, made a 96 but I wasn't really THAT impressed, my shop/automotive section blew, along with electronics), well, I did recieve a call from the army. I never bothered to call them back, but they mentioned something about a $37,000 scholarship (with the stipulation of joining them of course). Didn't hear anything about nuclear engineering though.

[Teenr0cker]

No nuclear engineering? Thank god awmighty!

[Porter]

For the love of god, don't encourage him.

[OverlordBill]

NEVER join the US army. It's the suckiest army in the world. Look at them prancing around. "Ooh. I have a big mean gun! Fear me!" REAL MEN KILL WITH THEIR HANDS! GO POOR COUNTRIES!

[Just]

NEVER join the US army. It's the suckiest army in the world. Look at them prancing around. "Ooh. I have a big mean gun! Fear me!" REAL MEN KILL WITH THEIR HANDS! GO POOR COUNTRIES!

No, the poor countries are the ones stuffing tons of C4 into the carcasses of dead dogs, hiding behind a rock like a coward, and then blowing up a caravan of humvees.

[Teenr0cker]

NEVER join the US army. It's the suckiest army in the world. Look at them prancing around. "Ooh. I have a big mean gun! Fear me!" REAL MEN KILL WITH THEIR HANDS! GO POOR COUNTRIES!

I got my message from the army already since I'm 16&1/2 and they want people to consider an Army career by 17.

[OverlordBill]

You're required to register with the army at age 18. I'm not going to.

[Takarious]

Ah hell no, I'm not joining the army. I'm just informing you all of my "revelation".

[OverlordBill]

I want to take this ASVAB test if it gives such high marks to an idiot like Inderos. It'll probably think I'm the next Jogret Halpe.

You've never heard about Jogret Halpe? I'll have to enlighten you then.

Jogret Halpe was born in 1832 in Germany. His parents were country hicks. His father grew Radishes and his mother was the town whore. She coined the popular German term, "DUROßSTäDTE NEUTSCHNEN ERLEBERE." which means, "Sucky for a bucky."

Jogret was always ashamed of his mother, though it's rumored he used her sevices a few times himself. Moving to the city, Jogret got lucky and landed an apprenticeship with a blacksmith. Having an affinity for metal, Jogret crafted a few fine puzzles and contraptions which he managed to trade to the local scribing house in exchange for lessons in reading and writing.

At the age of 32, Jogret travelled to Japan. Little is known of why, or how he managed to pay for the trip, though some think he had slept around with a duchess or two. While in Japan, Jogret trained with the ninjas and fought with Samurai until he was exiled from the country for sleeping with the royal princess (Who gave birth to twins. She named the Romulus and Remus. They later travelled back in time and founded Rome.)

Settling down in Russia, Jogret started detailed observations of the stars. Using very delicate tools, he found many mathematical anomalies and corrected hundreds of star charts. To this day, he hasn't been off a minute for any astronomical event.

Using the math he taught himself, Jogret found out that Saturn and Pluto were going to combine in 1952 and become an uber-planet, destroying Uranus. Knowing that this would have devestating effects on Martian sattelite systems, he had himself cryogenically frozen in a tub of ice cream in the basement of The White House until 1949.

Taking President Roosevelt's giant shape changing robot Voltron (You may have heard the cover up story about Voltron) Jogret killed the evil Gaia spirits of Saturn and Pluto but crash landed on the moon. Having only an hour of air left, and only enough fuel to get a few feet off the ground, Jogret put himself into a coma and preserved his body with the salt from his french fries.

It's rumored that Voltron is still up on the moon, waiting for Jogret to awaken from his preservative stuffed coma and blast off to Solar Systems beyond!

Jogret Halpe is my hero.

[Porter]

Bill, if you don't register for the selective services, the government calls you, and if you still don't do it, you get arrested. It's was a painless process for me.

[Greatchickenman]

Lmao, Bill. I actually thought you were telling a real story at first, until the part about training with ninjas. I guess i'm just not very smart

[Takarious]

Ahahaha Bill. You've got a great (morbid) sense of humor. Funniest shit I've heard all day.

[OverlordBill]

Then arrested I shall be.

Sucky for a bucky didn't tip you off?

[Sage Of The Wise]

Good story, I thought the Romulus and Remus part was an nice touch.

[Greatchickenman]

Then arrested I shall be.

Sucky for a bucky didn't tip you off?

Nah, it didn't really. I don't know German so it kinda threw me off


Germans have a weird sence of humor