Squapat, get in here!

[Glenn47]

I just want to say hi to SQUAPAT! He's our new guy. HI SQUAPAT!
Introduce yourself and tell us sailor stories.

[Occurrence of Something]

Damnit, I thought I was the new guy.

Why don't I get to tell sailor stories?

[Glenn47]

Alright, you get a chance. Start a story. Give it a good plot, plenty of action, and often refer to your telling of the story as "Spinning a yarn."

[sqpat17]

Hey hey it's ESS CUE PAT >:o

Sailor stories, eh? I may have one or two, though they're probably not the kinds of fantasies you may have been expecting... this story has only ONE man. His name was... oh, I dunno. Lets call him S. Q. Pat, but Pat for short. >_>

**spins some yarn**

To understand the story, it would help to first understand the circumstances in which it took place. You see, S. Q. Pat lived in a dusty little town in the desert. With his two six-shooters (Thats two guns, not twenty-six, not 12, etc) he took down all the troublemakers, criminals, and phoneticians (a dangerous bunch at the time) that came by the S. Q. Corrall (you see he was so bad ass they had to name the place after him). You might say he was a kind of Sheriff in that town.

Oh dammit. Who brought a cat? If I'm to spin yarn, this just won't do. **kicks cat (REEEOOW!!), grumble**

Ok, where was I? Right, the S.Q. Corrall. You see, in a small town such as this one, there had to be a source of food. Everyone in the S.Q.C. ate beef or starved, since the only source of food was a cow farm owned by a Mr. Ervin. I'll refer to him as Mr. E for short. Mr. E was... well, he wasn't a big hit with the town. He was liked... but he wasn't well liked, as Pat was. Did I mention Pat was a big hit with the ladies? Well, he was. And this got under Mr. E's skin.

"But you said there was only one man in this story! Blue Oyster omg"
Correct, there was one MAN. That was Pat. He was so manly that he scared away all the other MEN in the S.Q.C. The only people left were boys. Don't worry, Pat made sure Michael Jackson could not get into the area.

Back to Mr. E. Well, he had a plan. He wanted to off Pat. He planned to poison his meal one day, because he is a little bastard like that. The poisoned beef was to be served to him at dinner... and it was. Pat ate it in no time cause he was cool like that. Well, with my.. er, Pat's manliness, this poison was no match. He knew instantly that Mr.E poisoned the food because of his great skills of deduction (well you see the only people that lived in the town were Pat, Mr.E, and a bunch of hot ladies) so Mr.E landed himself a spot in the town jail. Erm. Where am I going with this... oh right. THEN THE ALIENS CAME.

These aliens were super nasty. They had eight legs and they were GREEN. I know, green aliens, who would have thought. Well I don't remember much else about them, because... well, Pat killed them so fast it didn't matter. You see, the S.Q. Corrall was never in any real danger with Pat around. He was just so badass like that... in fact, they say he once killed a man JUST for calling him Squapat. Get it? >:o

Well, I'm not one to tell a story without one of those moral things If there's anything to remember about this story... it's LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

[Telephalsion]

You're okay in my book. If i had one... .oh wait i do! *scribbles down OKAY*

[Glenn47]

You're not okay in my book. My book is quite greased up from when my sister dropped it in the bacon grizzler. You don't want to be in my book.

But really, you seem alright.

[OverlordBill]

You could be the next Teenr0cker, if you play your cards right and worship me beyond all others. And yes, bowing to my greatness is required.

[Glenn47]

You could be the next Teenr0cker, if you play your cards right and worship me beyond all others. And yes, bowing to my greatness is required.

Well duh.