Damn that novelization...

[Teenr0cker]

Lets settle this in DCC instead of wasting space.

[EmperorJeramyu]

Good idea. Any more flaming will result in me locking YET ANOTHER topic.

[Impossible]

Anyway, if I stop getting bullshit from most of you, I may be inclined to prepare something for our next... big... ahem... event.

[Dyluck]

Impossible, I think your novelization is pretty good, and I think you're doing a good job at it, but I must admit your description of the river crossing was pretty bland. It was all just descriptions.
"He was hardly able to jump away before the rock fell from under his feet" sounds like a grandpa retelling his old war stories.

Maybe something more like: "Rhue felt his left foot drop and realised that the rock underneath him was crumbling. With all of his strength he pushed his weight off the rock and into the air, barely grabbing the next rock and falling halfway into the raging river. He managed to grab an indent of rock with his other hand and flexed his muscles in an exhaustive effort to raise himself back onto the rock. He lay there panting, belly down on the rock on which he now lay. His heart beat faster than ever, but he knew that he had to keep going, or the spikey-haired bandid would have his head."

Ok maybe mine had a few more cliche sentences in it but at least it was entertaining.
EDIT: Ok I used the word "rock" too many times.

[Impossible]

Jesus, what the fuck?

Haha, whenever I write anything, there's always something missing from it. Sometimes the dialogue sucks, sometimes the description itself is fine but everything just turns out crap, and most often I have no idea how/what the fuck to describe anything.

The latter problem is happening to me with Chapter 4 (in the cave) right now. I have some brief descriptions of the cave and it's atmosphere, but I can't seem to pick up the same thing fantasy authors do with a part like that. Or all authors, for that matter, in terms of describing a location (particularly indoors).

Thanks for the advice, though, I'll keep that in mind.

Edit: Actually, the specific part with the rock crumbling is meant to happen in a rush as it is written, and that description feels slower.

[Dyluck]

Wow, quick reply!
Well I just read through what you wrote and gave you what I thought .

Yeah mine doesn't move as fast, I guess it is more tension based than speed based. I found I had to read yours twice to get exactly what was happening though.

My friend who was a good writer was giving me advice one day and said that you have to show what happens, not tell it. As in, if someone is arrogant you can't just say "He was an arrogant man". You have to show that he is arrogant through his actions. I guess you could use the same thing for caves as in "Rhue squinted and lit a torch to light up the dim cavern he was now in."

I dunno I'm just trying to help.

[Inderos]

My Creative Writing teacher tends to spout off the line, "Show it, don't tell it." all too often.

[Impossible]

Bah, with all these problems I'm having on chapter 4, it's not looking like the next novelization chapter is going to be ready any time soon. But when it is, I'd really like some input, so make sure you read everything I write down at the bottom under "Updates", because there's some important stuff and aspects of the writing down there and it's always nice to get peoples' opinions on these things.

And keep in mind that what I'm submitting at this point is essentially just in draft form, with some revisions to earlier chapters, so I can still do a lot about how things are shown (and not told) later.

And trust me, this next release is going to be good, I'm not going to rush it just because lately I've actually attempted to work somewhat (finally getting back to chapter 3 and all). All those people who've been telling me to do it should get their wish... eventually. We could be nearing E2 some time... this year, too.

[Daedalus]

I love your style of writing.
I put too much description in my writing, but try to rush it.
You take the time to emphasize the key points.
*takes notes to use for his FFTA fannovel*

[Impossible]

FFTA fannovel?

[Daedalus]

Yes, I'm trying to write a fanvoel for one of the slowest games ever.
But I liked it.
After that I'm doing a Golden Sun fannovel.

[Impossible]

After that I'm doing a Golden Sun fannovel.

I tried that a long time ago.
Trust me, it DOESN'T work.

[Daedalus]

Yeah, but I might as well try.
I'll break the game into individual books, so I don't kill too many trees at once when I print them, if I want to.
You know, for karma.

[War]

Paper is actually made out of genetically altered trees that grow faster. Not wild trees, so no bad karma. There just fulfilling there purpose in life.

[EmperorJeramyu]

Paper is actually made out of genetically altered trees that grow faster. Not wild trees, so no bad karma. There just fulfilling there purpose in life.

This has layers of meaning I can't even begin to comprehend.