hfygs - The Birth

[Telephalsion]

Knowing that the Tele can be forced into doing anything with proper motivation you give him an ice cream which he devours happily while remembering his frozen homeland. After he finishes the ice cream he walks up to the virgin and begins to talk about the big dance. Unfortunately for you the virgin finds Tele more interesting and calm than you so she decides to wear something elegant for the first time and goes out to buy a shnazzy dress. Tele walks up to you and pats you on the back while jumping after his date. You're stuck with a few options after this.

a) kill tele and then figure something out

b) ask the goth chick to go to the dance with tou

c) Go solo

d) skip everything

[Greatchickenman]

B)


You head over to the goth chick in the hallway who always wears black and has a face as white and pale as snow. As you walk up to her you notice that she smells really bad. like old cat piss bad.

"I uh--"

"You want to ask me to the dance! The voices tell me so! They also tell me to burn things and kill baby animals!"

"On second thought.. I've changed my mind. You're insane, " You say to her.

"What! how dare you question my sanity? GRAKKKSLASAGHALLACTHULU!"

You suddenly find you self in a wormhole of time and space. You notice a clock and a window next to you suddenly breaks. You know now that you are entering THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

A) Try to convince the pig people that you really are as pretty as them

B) Tell the little boy how much you love him, because if you don't he'll make your head explode

C) Release the howling man in the insane asylum who really turns out to be the devil

D) Take the blue pill

[Glenn47]

D)

You take the blue pill. You get the hell out of that story-ending crapfest and start posting again. Once more, just for closure, you bust a disco move all up out the joint. The floor collapses below you, but instead of falling down, you fall up. Into space you go, passing up ears, P's, and oobles of delicious bread.

Flying into space, you land on Jupiter, the least talked about planet nowadays. Nobody writes reports on it's big red spot anymore. Nobody. You recently made it in an article about being kickass, and so Jupiter is jealous, and sicks it's big red spot on you. You run around Jupiter as if it weren't a couple hundred times bigger than Earth. You have a few options.

A) Kamehameha.
B) Paint the big red spot blue, just to mock it.
C) Trick it with a Kingdom of Loathing style cleverness and your high level of Moxie.
D) Do something awesome to get off the planet, and spare the red spot some humiliation.

[War]

B, A, and D

Then you think why is the spot red? So you find as much paint as you can one Jupiter (Which you find out to be a lot for some strange reason) and throw it into the air. Then you realize you can't paint it blue and the paint falls on you.

Then out of now were you hear the "I'm blue, da bo de da bo die" song playing. In a fit of rage you scream Kamehameha. Then you are fling off of Jupiter and land on earth.

Then the "I'm blue, da bo de da bo die" song plays again and you realize your still blue. So you...

A) Kill the people who made that song

B) Paint your self a different color

C) Start singing along