by Sling » Thu Jan 05, 2006 5:24 am
Well when my mate was 4 he tried to parachute out of his bedroom on the second floor using plastic bags and umbrellas and broke both of his wrist and his ankles. When my mates brother (same mate) was 5 he climbed up a tree butt naked and took in a piss in the neigbours garden and fell off the tree when the neighbour caught him. My mate was having a fight with his brother when his brother punched him near the bladder and because my mate was busting for a piss he pissed himself and so he picked pieces of shit out of the toilet and threw them at his brother.
He also pissed in a cup and gave it someone saying it was lemonade and the person drank it. My mates cat once had a liquid shit and my mate drank it and was ill for 2 weeks. My mate and his neighbours were always arguing so my mate's dad planted 5 trees to block the view of next-door. The next the day their neighbours and stolen them.
My cousin once came into room had a shit, took a bite out of it rubbed some down her arm walked out and then put the rest in the bin.
Another time my cousin, despite being a ril, managed to piss all over the floor when she was 16. She also licked and kissed her pet cat's arse.
Once in primary school a kid took a shit down the register.
In year 8 my little sister in year 5 dropped some sweets in some dog-shit
but bent down picked them back up and ate them.
In year 9 me and my mates where in science and we had to use some stop-clocks. And the end we started all of them up again. Almost a week later we checked and they were still going and the teacher never noticed.
In Year 10 I had a science teacher who couldn't spell. Also when I was in year 10, some queer emo kid who nobody liked was stood on this hill shouting insults at everyone when a kid in Year 11 ran up behind drop-kicked him in the back and rode the kid down the slope like a surf-board. Also whilst I was High School, for one week there was £2000 worth of vandism a day every single day of that week. The teachers decided next week to lock us all out, so a number of went round the side of the school and got in through a side door and snuck into the sixth form common room.
Me and my mate stuck a sticker saying "homonecropaedophiliac NARK!!" on our lecturer's foot without him realising in september 05 and it is still there. Last Month me and my mate were sitting in the corridor watching red vs blue on my mate's laptop. One of my other mates was playing tennis using a "Caution wet surface!" cone, when suddenly it flew out of his hands hit the wall with such a force that it left an dent or two in the wall hit me in the neck, smacked my mate in the head (which caused his head to start bleeding) and smacked into his laptop, which luckily didn't break. The same mate also went into a shop and for some reason he bought a pack of tampons and went around the college offering them to people and somehow managed to slip one in our lecturer's pocket without him noticing. The same mate also got kicked out of a lesson for playing an ocarina.
I recently was playing a game called N on my laptop and got extremely pissed. I then punched the spacebar which totally buggered the hard disk.
And I had to pay £135 to get it fixed.
Yesterday, my mate bought 2 super-packs of chewits each containing 4 packs of lemon flavoured sour chewits. We then spent all of lunch having chewitt wars. The next break we were sat down in the same corridor, some chav girls were leaving and my mate just said "Oh for fuck's sake why can't there be any fit girls in this block" and they turned round and started mouthing off. Then as they were leaving my mate then said loudly "Nah, I don't think I would fuck any them" and one of the turned round and actually looked upset.
Once whilst I was at Headhunters (outside laser combat) I walked right into the enemy base reloaded in their reload box, took a piss and took their flag without them realising. It wasn't until they noticed I had their flag and the fact I wasn't on their side until they started shooting.
Me and my mates were in my mates garden camping out. My mate got completely and utterly slaughtered and wankered out of his face. He then climbed his shed and stood up. Being completely rat-arsed he fell off nearly broke his neck. We then went round nicking peoples dustcaps and we went around a bit we noticed a fire (yes it was a real fire) so we reported it. We then went around to St. Johns Hill and, because we were either slaughtered or drunk we accidently knocked someone's wall over so we legged it and my mate almost got hit by a fire engine on it's way to put out the fire we reported. The next year we were doing the same thing. My parents this time told me to come home because I was ill and wasn't allowed any booze so I stuck 4 cans of lager some strongobow and some Smirnoff in my pillow and my mum and dad never noticed despite the fact it was clunking around like anything.
Last Year in summer me, my mates and my mates from watford were camped out near whitecliff bay. Camped out nearby were some chavs.
At night we went up to their tent and started making noises and then one of mates stuck his arms in the tent grapped a chav by the legs and started pulling them out but eventually let go. Then the chavs started crying and the sad thing was they were older than us.
This one kid I knew got stabbed in the head, had the skin on his back burnt off, had a 10ft wall fall on him, got hit by a bus and fell from the top of a 3 storey block of flats and he is still alive!!!!!!!
And recently my mate got kicked out of gunwharf quays for tricking and for taking the piss out of school children. And another one of mates got drunk, broke the back window of someones car and had to go to court for criminal damage and vandalism
OK stupid things I have done. When I lived in Carisbrooke I had 2 chairs. One you could put stuff in, one you couldn't. Also unknown to me there were a lot of sharp nails coming out the bottom of them. I tried to open up the wrong chair and pulled so I hard I picked up the chair. I then dropped it back down. For some reason my foot was stuck. I picked it back up and put it down somewhere else. I then noticed a sharp pain in my foot. A nail had gone straight through my toe and my toenail had come off and was digging into my flesh. When I was 2 I was speeding along in some crappy buggy and I fell out and cracked my skull open on some concrete steps.
When I was in Year 1 I was stading on a a wall. I then tripped on my lace and cut the back of my leg open on the corner . And then when managed to crawl back to the school building to get help (I was in the playing field at the time) and I had been stung to hell by stinging nettles and trodden on by the cretins from reception. I stood on and hopped into my classroom and tripped over a metal pole and smacked my head on another which nearly got my eye out. Also When I was 6 I was scared of some cows and nearly sunk in a massive puddle of mud.
When I was in Year 2 I climbed on top of the school building and jumped off. Good thing it was only 1 storey high. Miraculously, the head teacher broke my fall, except he didn't quite see it that way.
When I was In Year 3 I successfuly broke out of school without the techers noticing. The only reason they found out was because I decided to go home but my mum phoned them up.
In Year 4 I again escaped from school and started runnning through peoples garden's and escaped capture until Luchtime when I got hungry and returned. I got put in detention and so I ate the work given to me and stapled my finger.
In Year 5 there was a teacher called Mr. Bowes and I thought his name was Mr. Bowels. But the teacher didn't have any sense of humour and I got detention.
In Year 6 I almost successfully called a bomb scare because something in the classroom kept ticking(no it wasn't the clock)
In Year 7 I knocked my science teachers cup of coffee all over the electrics.
In Year 8 I managed to stay inside the school building despite the prefects best efforsts by locking myself in my locker. Took a while for anyone to find me.
In Year 9 in science we doing experiments with tea bags and I spilled scolding hot water all over my hands. And once in PE I accidently got hit in the chest with a cricket bat.
In Year 10 My mate threw a coin at some kid and I got the blame ands so this titchy little kid came up to me and just started punching me in the head.
In Year 11 I got detention for hiding in the science corridor when the teachers were kicking us out.
And now I'm in college. One day My mate accidently broket the back off a wheelie chair. I then took a running jump and landed on it and rode it the length of the room. The lecturer then turned round and I was banned from using wheely chairs.
And once me and my mate sat down and smoked a packet of prawn crackers.
In this day and age, an era where there are people who actually throw shit at each other, anything, could be possible.
lol 
