Storm Warning (and other random shit)

[Sling]

Since Crestfallen is slipping into inactivity I thought I'd create this topic for people to discuss.
This is one uber-topic covering quite a few major topics. The main ones including: How Shit the Isle Of Wight is, What a load of bollocks Political Correctness is, how shit this world is and what it will probably end up like, Chavs and what complete and utter scum they are and so on.
I apologise in advance if you are offended by any of this.








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WARNING! YOU MAY WANT TO DRINK SOME COFEE BEFORE READING THIS! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Where I Live, as described above, really is hell on Earth. First of all, I live on an island 5 miles south of the main part of Britain which is approximately 30 miles wide and 15 miles long with an overall perimeter of around 70 miles. As you can imagine, it is small and dull and the chances of anything good happening are about as low as the ankle socks of a particularly small beetle standing in a ditch in a quarry in the low-county and most people have either farmer, country or pirate accents. The only good thing, the Isle Of Wight Rock Festival has now been ruined by crappy emo bands and bands from 40 years ago but are now shit. And the weather is rainy, stormy and cloudy every day apart from 3 months during summer. Once it was so cold that I was wearing 5 layers of clothing and 2 pairs of gloves yet I still got frostbite. Any chances of getting off the IOW is slim as the ferry prices are overpriced. The population is a mere 300,000, the largest town, Ryde which is also where I live has a puny population of 40,000, half, or maybe a third are “chavs” (“ganstas” or “townies” as they like to call themselves.) There are 2 main types of people, the rich and the poor. The rich people typically earn £20,000 - £40, 000 a year plus and most are just holiday makers who have bought a house over here. Everyone else barely earns between £5000 - £10,000 a year, a few lucky people might earn slightly more but not much more. Now houses are horrendously over-priced so people usually have to rent houses all their life. A 3-bedroom 2-storey house is typically £200,000 and a 4-bedroom house is around £300,000.
Poor people are divided as follows: -
1. Homeless people. They are too poor to afford anything and have to scav things off of people.
2. 1-room bed-sit people. People who can only afford to live in a single room flat (apartment).
3. Council Estate people. People who live in crappy flats owned by the council. Most are usually chavs and 99% are guilty of benefit fraud. Rent is around £100+ a month.
4. People like me. People like me, live in houses owned by private companies. Rent is £400+ a month for a 3-bedroom house.
5. Very Lucky People who are ever-so-slightly better off than everyone else who actually own their own houses but have to pay mortgages so large they are unable to get anything good or they’ll end up in debt.
Anyone above no. 5 is rich.
Now, not only is it impossible for normal average people to buy their own house due to disgusting prices. Holiday-makers and retired OAPs come from other places and buy them. It is also near-impossible to get a job good enough to get above 5. My dad is a department manager/supervisor and only gets £14,000 a year and after 20 years service instead of giving him a payrise, they decide to make everyone who is department manager or a supervisor redundant for no damn reason other than they can’t be fucked to spend money paying people who work for them.

The crime-rate is around 3 murders are year, which is a lot given the small population and drug use is so acceptable that even the pigs (cops) do it.
There are 3 prisons on the IOW, and guess what, they are all Paedo/sex offender prisons, so whenever someone gets released they usually decide to live here and every couple of years you’ll see one or two of them running around school grounds taking photos.

The main thing which makes the IOW shit is the chavs.
Chavs, townies, ganstas, whatever you know them as they are all the same thing. Black kids who think by following the gansta lifestyle it makes them cool and white wannabes who want to copy them. Although there are hardly any black people at all on the IOW. Their IQ’s barely reach 15, they talk in barely intelligible crude dialects which are piss-takes of real slang and constantly rape the English language. The sad thing is that they think by listening to R&B, Rap and Hip-hop, wearing nothing but Addidas, Puma and Nike and by adorning their bodies with hunks of worthless 9ct gold they look rich, when in reality they look and sound like the biggest, most brainless, retarded, near brain-dead, fucktards on earth. Not only that, but they target anyone who is different.
They also think they are ‘hard’ or ‘untouchable’ just because they work-out have biceps the size of dinner-plates and an impressive 6-pack, but have to resort to going in groups of 50+ to take on 1 or 2 goths and they almost always use weapons such as golf-clubs. In reality they are pussies, the only reason their muscles look so big is that as soon as they’ve worked out they hang around in McDonalds afterwards and eat their own weight in junk food. The female chavs are just as bad, they typically wear skirts shorter than their thighs, or low-cut jeans so you can see their disgusting underwear. They also wear anything that will make their bust look bigger and hoopy earrings which reach their shoulders and they think by slapping 5 metrics tons of make-up on their faces makes them look beautiful when in truth they are the skankiest, sluts to have every walked the face of the earth. All chavs wear shitty Addidas trainers and disgustingly hideous caps, both of which are a horrible prison-white.
All chavs usally carry all manners of STI’s and the only thing they care about is looking “blinged up”, getting slaughtered (drunk), getting laid and for male chavs football (soccer). The only reason the PS2 sold more than the X-box is because the chavs wanted the PS2 so they could play football games.

Every single person who is born on the IOW has at least one mental disability or deficiency, even people who have not been born on the IOW usually develop mental instability and/or induced psychosis. Even I myself have one or two mental disabilities. The non-chavs are divided as follows.
1. Average John and Jane Does. People who are just well, … average.
2. Retarded/Mentally handicapped people. Some people have serious mental disabilities and so have to live in special homes.
3. Psychotic crazy people. People with mental diseases, who usually are put in the only mental home on the Island, although a large number escape this fate and live at home terrorising other people.
4. People like me, Mentally Handicapped yet a total fucking genious. Typically, have a one or two mental disabilities but have IQ’s between 140 and 210. People like me are generally not understood very well due to our mental disability.
5. Non-chav yet completely dumb-ass. Basically just stupid people in general.


More Detailed look at chavs: - (skip if you know what chavs are)
Chavs can be also sub-divided as well: -
1. Average Chav. As Described Above.
2. Intelligent Chavs. Chavs with IQ’s reaching the highs of 75-90(in case you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic). Still dumb-asses in equivalent.
3. Brainy chavs. Chavs with an IQ of 100! A rare case, chavs who are intelligent usually know are lot but are so annoying you still don’t give a fuck about what they have to say anyway.

Culture on the IOW is as follows, you’re either a chav or you’re not.
Chavs are the largest group or type of people there is, but there are more non-chavs than chavs, however, there are different groups or types of non-chavs and not all of them see eye to eye. There are Goths, punks, skaters, grungers, rockers, metal-heads and …. Emos. Emo’s are the only group of non-chav to like chavs. Emo’s are the only tye of non-chav which are universally despised by the other non-chavs. They listen to dreary shite such as McFly, Busted and Blink 182 and are obsessed with being depressed and upset. They tend to wear jeans round their ass held up by studded belts. Basically, they are the skater equivalent of chavs. There are also more gothic emos which are OK but not a lot of people know about them. There are others but I can’t be arsed to tell you as I’d probably chew your ear off, … or should I say eyes, telling you.

The only group capable of defeating the chavs are Goths, every other group is too afraid.. Mainly because all Goths on the IOW are extremely powerful and strong in fights and know between 2 to 7 martial arts. This is the main reason why chavs go around in large groups.
A chav by their self isn’t a threat, 1 or 2 they’ll mouth off, 5+ they’ll start on you. As I said before it takes 50+ chavs with weapons to take on 2-5 goths.
I once had a fight with 20 chavs and I battered the fuck out of them.
I myself am a goth, mainly because I love the shade black, and I know 8 martial arts and I beat them quite easily. No chav has ever started on me since. You may find this hard to believe but the IOW is a small place and nearly everyone knows each other for example I am related to everyone with the same last name as me who lives on the IOW, except for 1 person who was from South Africa.

Okay, so now you know what the IOW is like and how chavs oppress the freedom of others. The IOW is also technologically separated from mainland Britain in a lot of areas. Yes we still get electricity and running water (duh!!) however, a lot of areas don’t get gas and a lot of areas can’t get Broadband or cable, satellite or freeview. Most houses didn’t have central heating or double-glazed windows until around 7 years ago.
For some reason we can’t Channel 5 normally like the rest of Britain can so you have to get, sky, cable or freeview in order to get it.
The biggest piss-take is that when a game or something is released the IOW is the last place to get it, we got our first Xbox 360 shipment 2 weeks after it was released in December. The only benefit is that everything is cheaper, my mate got his Xbox 360 for £280 with the full system and with a number of games with it. We have 2 theme parks, 1 gets lame once you’ve been there too long and so isn’t worth the money and the other is horrendously expensive and is currently sinking and collapsing into the sea, so they have to close in order to move it inland bit every now and then which is a huge waste of money. There are only 2 cinemas on the entire island and only 4 main town centres which have the “good shops” in them.

My life in general is also very shit, however, I am slowly working on becoming a success. At the moment I live with my mum and dad. Also, living in the house is my sister, who is extremely conflicted about which social group to follow (don’t ask me why) and my chav cousin. My mum is really, really, really, really, really, really embarrassing which is why I rarely venture out the house. My dad is a preacher man who is always moaning at me because I listen to Rock Music, he thinks that it is 100% evil, I may believe in God but he takes it way, way, way too far and much too seriously as he thinks that just saying the word piss is bad.
My cousin is the biggest freak on earth, there is no words in any language ever to describe what a slutty-whore she is. She is the same age as me yet she is 4ft 11, a whole foot shorter than me and she has a pot-belly.
She regularly shits and pisses herself, she sexually molests cats, she eats her own excrement and the excrement of her cat and her room is such a rotting cesspit of human and cat waste that it smells like a skunk juggling dead hampsters which had eaten, infected cheese, old yoghurt and a fish which had been set alight and then puked back up into a can of trash 24/7.

There are only 5 high schools on the IOW and all of them are shit. I learnt nothing in GCSE music so I had to teach myself to play guitar, Bass and keyboards. My band is also extremely shit as I am the only one who is dedicated. My mate has been playing guitar since he was 4 years old, and he has received proper lessons, yet he can’t read music or guitar tabs and I have been playing guitar for 2 years without receiving any lessons at all and I am better than him. The guy who plays Bass is an egotistical maniac who insists on singing in addition to playing Bass, both he is quite shit at. He has now become a chav. The drummer is now a chav as well and refuses to take part in practices anymore. The other guitarist doesn’t show up any more, I guess it’s because how shit everything is. After all, as Wellsy630 accurately said, “Remind me never to visit where you live as my chances of getting murdered or seriously wounded would skyrocket if I ever did”.

This is about England and other rich countries in general:
Horrendously poor and starving people may think life in the west is good, but I can assure you that it’s not. This country is capitalist, and as long as there is capitalism their can never be true freedom as we still live in a society where 5% of the population control 95% of the wealth, and we still live in an era where society is fuelled by the blood of workers. We may be a democracy but the government still decides which laws to pass without referring it with the public. People may think we live in a land of opportunity etc and all that shit, but it is not true. Racism still exists and all this la-de-da with political correctness means that people are unable to express their views in case they might “offend” someone. This is complete garbage, I couldn’t give a shitting-monkey’s if someone said they thought my views were bollocks, so what, who actually gives a fuck? Recently, this year, Christmas Trees were banned from public places in major cities in England because it might offend Muslims. Not only is the Christmas tree non-religious and is based around western-tradition, a bunch of Muslims actually said they didn’t care. And also someone got arrested because they had little pig ornaments in their window because they lived in a mostly Islamic community and the Muslims could be offended, yet, when interviewed, the people who were Muslims actually said they didn’t care.
What’s next is the world will unite as one and ban all religions, faiths, sects and cults of any kind. Eventually, there will be ID cards, biometrics microchips under the skin so that no matter where we go we shall not be free.

Well there we have it, I’ve got all that off my chest, phew, that relieves so much built up anger. Sorry I wrote so much and sorry if any if this was colloquial or nonchalant but I really needed to say all this.
Anywho, that’s the jist of it, I don’t expect anyone to agree or accept my views/theories and I especially don’t expect anyone to treat me better, whatever etc but ladies and gentlemen this is the reality which faces us all.
As Axl Rose once said: “Do you know where the fuck you are, you’re in the jungle, wake up it’s time to die,”

[Burning_Flame]

um... yea, You don't expect me to read all that do you?

[Sling]

um... yea, You don't expect me to read all that do you?

Not really, it's main purpose is to raise Crestafllen Studios forum activity.

[Fitz Tayo]

Hey. I bet if we all bitch about our lives in huge rants, there will be more activity on the part of the Crestfallen... right?

[Jasonflare]

Lun could always enable commenting on the Fan Features.
http://www.mylittlehomepage.net/comment_script
That should get a little more activity.

[Escreon]

I read enough of the rant to raise my hatred of you even more.
I will elaborate at some point, but right now I'm tired...

[Strayed Wanderer]

If you don't want us (me) to hate you, I'd suggest not following TeenR0cker's footsteps.

[Poenaensis]

Meh, you say some interesting things. My school, a very good one, is situated in the biggest dump in the city and surrounded by the biggest dumps just outside it. Man I hate Chavs. Chav girls are such a waste of potentialgood looking females.

However, a dig at capitalism, hmmm. The problem is that no country emplos true capitalism, because it isn't viable to scrap inheritance. What would you suggest instead, communism? That corrupts its leaders and doesn't motivate anyone, it just uses the motivated.

Btw I did read the entire post, go me.

[Aegis]

Yes, that island sounds gay. It's called the Isle of Wight? ...seriously...

Anyway, I think someone's ripping off Teenr0cker.

[Forerunner]

I read none of that, other than this, which caught my eye: "The only reason the PS2 sold more than the X-box is because the chavs wanted the PS2 so they could play football games. "
I hate sports games. Except for racing games. I will forever love the original GrandTourismo. <== Spelt it wrong didn't I?

[Burning_Flame]

I'm pretty sure thats not how you spell it but I dont know eather, I think its Gran Turrismo or sompthing along those line.
It is the first amazing PS racing game, the second one wasn't as good i found and the third was same old same old, and I havent had a chance to play the fourth yet. Dont have the cash.

[Wellsy]

It's spelled Gran Turismo.

And no, I don't have a comment on the huge fucking post that started this topic.

[Jonesy]

Yes, that island sounds gay. It's called the Isle of Wight? ...seriously...

Obviously you've never heard of the Isle of Wight pot festival from back in the 60s.

[Sarcasm]

Hey. I bet if we all bitch about our lives in huge rants, there will be more activity on the part of the Crestfallen... right?

I am all for it ,Really, I somehow get a measure of sadistic glee from reading about other people's lives.

[Forerunner]

I am all for it ,Really, I somehow get a measure of sadistic glee from reading about other people's lives.

Who doesn't?