The people deserve to know!

[EmperorJeramyu]

In my Communications 201 class, our last speech for the semester had to be a persuasive speech. I had juggled a few ideas around here and there, and eventually I decided to do something a little different. See, I love satire, and I don't usually get to share it in front of a classroom full of people.

For my persuasive speech, I decided to argue in favor of teaching Pastafarianism in schools, and for the superiority of Pastafarianism in general. Pasta-what? If you don't know what I'm talking about... Read here. And then read here for something a little more sensible

Anyway, here's the speech And here's a quick link to the illustration page: http://www.freewebs.com/downgraderpg/FSM.html

Upon finishing the last sentence, I had a pretty good reaction. Most people were laughing heartily or chuckling while rolling their eyes. Maybe they didn't get it, but I still love entertaining people regardless. Only one other person in the room had heard of the FSM, and I couldn't quite gauge his opinion on the matter. But there was this one girl... hoo boy... I don't think I've ever seen a more irate human being than this girl. She didn't understand it at all, but all she knew is that I had been saying "Christianity" in a condescending voice, and this made her INCREDIBLY angry (Side note: One of my original ideas for a speech was on anti-censorship). She demanded to be told what I was talking about. So I attempted to explain it was satire on the Kansas board of Education case. Her reply: "So you're an atheist and you're making fun of god?" (something to that extent). I could only shake my head and say "No... that wasn't it at all...". So the speeches went on, and this girl continually glared at me for the rest of the time. Ironically enough, that's the kind of thing that vindicates me. Score.

[JLAF]

Oh wow. How had I missed FSM all this time? Great job. Though I might have made have mentioned that you can't disprove it so it MUST be true.

[teeran]

I have been enlightened. May you all be touched by his noodly apendage.

[Shindy]

its like they have a integrated robotic chip that makes them incredibly assume-ahead-like whenever someone says something about religion.

[Teenr0cker]

I'm glad you have been touched by His great noodly appendage, Jera.

Too often I see hardcore catholics dicking around, yelling 'FUCK YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, BITCH!' because I was carrying around the gospel of the FSM. Especially when you don't know the people....

I'm glad to see you've show people that they should be touched by His noodly appendage today and try our religion free for 30 day. If they don't like it, their god will most likely take them back.

[JLAF]

Wait, are you Pastafarian? I was under the impression that that total idiots who didn't realize Bobby Henderson was just making a parodie of Inteligent Design.
Oh wait, I get it. The book it funny...

[Sling]

Too often I see hardcore catholics dicking around, yelling 'FUCK YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, BITCH!' because I was carrying around the gospel of the FSM. Especially when you don't know the people

Yeah, tell me about it. A bunch of Jesus Creepers came up to me and were like "Repent!" and were giving all kinds of leaflets just becuase I was wearing a Guns N' Roses Appetite For Destruction T-Shirt. They didn't believe me when I told them I already believed in God so I just pointed out where it said in the bible where it said being too religious was wrong and they went away.

Anywho, back to the important issue.

this girl continually glared at me for the rest of the time.

You should have jsut said "Yes, becuase mentioning Religion in in a condescending voice instantly means I am trying to insult it" in a sarcastic voice.

[JLAF]

Pisshhh... Only LOSERS believe is god (not including the losers who are atheists or the non-atheists who aren't losers). Oh... you were buurrrnnneeeddd! Oh! Taking into account the part in parentheses you were burned again!

[teeran]

They didn't believe me when I told them I already believed in God so I just pointed out where it said in the bible where it said being too religious was wrong and they went away.

The bible says that?

[Teenr0cker]

Jera, you were too lazy to go into the creation, weren't you? Tsk, at LEAST include the part where he got totally wasted (the big bang).

And what about the bone-less dinosaurs. And every friday a holiday? The eight I'd-really-rather-you-didn't's, the 30 day trial (if you don't like it, your old god will take you back)? Too much is missing! Honestly, this was a speech highly constricted by time limitations/laziness.


edit: creation, not 'creationism'

[EmperorJeramyu]

I did write it like 3 hours before class, so go figure.

Actually, what I would've liked to have used instead was Stupid Design, or Unintelligent Design, but there's just not enough material to work with.

[Teenr0cker]

I think your point would have been more convincing if you mentioned the beer volcano.

[Sling]

They didn't believe me when I told them I already believed in God so I just pointed out where it said in the bible where it said being too religious was wrong and they went away.

The bible says that?

Yes, yes it is does. When Jesus healed some bloke on the Sabbath these Pharasees were all like "You can't do work on the Sabbath!" and Jesus said something like "If someone fell down a well on a Sabbath would you not help them?" and they said they would help the person and so Jesus was just like "Well then2 and went into a lenghtly tale on why you shouldn't be too religious. There are other bits in the bible which I can't remember which say similar things too but I've only just woke up and so I can't be arsed to remember/find them.

Pisshhh... Only LOSERS believe is god (not including the losers who are atheists or the non-atheists who aren't losers). Oh... you were buurrrnnneeeddd! Oh! Taking into account the part in parentheses you were burned again!

No, only Losers believe in Evolution, considering it's been disproved by Atheists using Science so many times I lost count. Anyone can believe what they want to believe, just like Pastafarianism for example, now THAT'S some plausible/feasible shit!

[JLAF]

Name one way it's been disproven and I'll name one reason why that's wrong. Or are there so many ways you can't remember a single one?

[HolsteinCow]

i got banned off of the fsm forums because i posted furry porn how dare they ban me for that