The continuing saga of "Wrong Way"!

[EmperorJeramyu]

Shaddup and read part 4!

"Nominal Action Scene: Starring Glenn!"

The bus rolled on; the journey continued. The crestfallen few were holding out well, despite a critical food shortage, which had forced them to eat things that were not normally edible. Soon the daily lunch menu accommodated things such as the gum from the undersides of tables, and glass. All and all, the few’s spirits were high.

“I’m going to kill you, you slimy son of a bastard!” Somebody yelled. Horrified shrieking, and malicious laughter followed this.
“Morale is low.” Trivia-Bot reported stoically.
“Tell me about it…” Jeramyu scoffed, “I’m not sure who’s alive, and who’s a zombie.”
“Well, I think I saw Cow eating somebody’s brains.” Porter responded.
“No, he always does that.”
“Oh.”

“I’m contacting moon base.” Iteroth reported, “Maybe they can tell us if there’s a gas station, or a liquor store near.”
Iteroth stared blankly at the communications control panel for several seconds. “I have no idea how to use this thing.”
“Try the big red button that reads ‘Iteroth, push this button to contact moon base.’” Telephalsion instructed, sewing the skin back on to his skull.
“Oh. I didn’t see that there.” Iteroth replied. A minute later, Iteroth banged his hand on the control panel, resulting in an annoying R2-D2 screech. “No signal? Damn this thing! I though you said it had a satellite.”
Telephalsion shrugged. “It does… did… I think Impossible removed the dish to try and kill Excell with.”
“They ran out of recliners already?” Jeramyu said angrily, licking the underside of a table. “Mmmmm… watermelon!”
“I guess so.” Porter interjected, as a satellite dish crashed into the main compartment. “Cut it out you two!”
“Or you’re all banned!” Jeramyu added, sighing afterwards. “Someone go super-glue the dish back on.”
“Make Bill do it.” Porter said, gnawing on an unidentifiable object.
Jeramyu shook his head. “No. I’ve seen what he does with anything with remotely sharp edges.”
“Exiled then?”
“No. He’s wanking. Can’t you hear that shaking sound?”
“Oh. I thought that was the tailpipe rattling or something. Actually, wanking sounds like a good idea. Keeps the mind off of the food.”
“Great…” Jeramyu muttered, “Now we’re all horny too…”
At that point, Glenn walked in. “Hey guys, I figured out how to make a risotto out of gunpowder!”
Jeramyu and Porter gave each other that “let’s sucker him into replacing the satellite dish look”.

The next thing he knew, Glenn was standing on top of the bus, wearing safety glasses. “I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable with this…” Glenn said, peering off of the edge of the bus. “You know, the whole ‘shimmying out on a thin metal pole whilst going a 100 miles per hour’ bit.”
“Relax!” Jeramyu assured from a walkey talkey, “We gave you safety glasses! Nothing can happen to you!” There was a brief pause. “Oh look guys, we’re going into a dense forest!”

Glenn breathed a sigh of anxiousness, and stepped to the outcropping pole where the satellite had been inexplicably installed on prior. Dish strapped to his back, he grabbed the pole tightly, and prepared to lean off. The trees of the forest seemed precariously close. Grappling the pole with his legs, Glenn began the arduous shimmy out to the end.
Remaining on the upside of the pole, Glenn successfully made it to the end. Suddenly, the pole buckled from the added weight, and bended down to just above the road, which seemed to be nothing but a blur. Closing his eyes and quickly regaining his poise, Glenn slowly reached down to the super glue on his belt. But the shift in center-of-gravity tipped his weight off balance, forcing him down to the underside of the pole, the satellite dish on his back inches from the whirring pavement.
Recovering from traumatic gasps, he unsheathed the super glue, and brought his shaking arm up to the pole. Twisting the cap between his index finger and thumb, the glue slowly flowed out. A fair deal of glue flew out and away, but a good deal reached the frayed end.
After treasuring the silent victory, Glenn focused on the task of retrieving the dish. Without giving himself time to hesitate, he released both hands from the pole. Slowly but surely, he had the dish gripped in both hands, using every ounce of his lower back strength to remain lateral. He pulled the dish from its straps.
Steadily making sure the dish was fine in being gripped in only one hand, Glenn quickly put his other hand back to the pole. Slightly relieved, he brought the dish up, to attach to the end of the pole. Unfortunately, a particularly close tree brushed the dish, nearly ripping it right out his hand. But through sheer muscle and grip, he retained control, and safely squashed the dish to the super glued pole. Finally he was ready to get off of that accursed pole.
Moving back up the past-diagonal pole was another task in itself, but Glenn’s adrenaline kept him going. With a strong twist, he righted himself, and moved his legs back onto the top of the bus, followed by his arms.
It was done! Glenn raised one his arms in victory, and screamed in slow motion. The bus was leaving the forest too. But not without one last branch…

Jeramyu exited the bathroom. “I pity whoever is on janitor duty.” He said, chuckling like a retard.
Porter stooped out from under a table “I thought it was y… Oh, hey Glenn. You’re missing an arm.”
“Yeah. A low high branch took it off.” Glenn replied, a small pool of blood forming on the floor.
“That sucks.” Iteroth stated, eating some glass.
“Um… somebody think they could fix it?” Glenn pleaded.
Jeramyu mused over the stub of the arm. “Hmmm… I CAN REBUILD HIM.”

An hour later, the bus reached a crossroad. “Well let’s see…” Verb mused from the space base.
Excell grabbed the microphone. “I am Satan’s ear wax!!!” He screamed.
Verb nodded. “Yes, yes you are.” He said with a mustered smile. “It looks like there’s a porno store to the northwest, and a liquor store to the southwest.”
“That settles it.” Iteroth concluded. “We go for the booze.”
“Huh? You have enough booze as it is!” Jeramyu retorted.
Iteroth stomped his foot for emphasis. “I had to drink it all, so I could eat the glass. I need more beer!”
Jeramyu started to break down. “But… porno!”
“Yeah! Porno goddamn it!” Porter shouted, stomping on Iteroth’s foot for emphasis.
Exiled burst through the door, stomping his foot on the ground. Excell started stomping on the ground as well…


-YOU DECIDE!!!-

What should the conflicting Crestfallen do!? You decide!

A) Go for the porno

B) Need... beer...

[Non-Sequitur]

A) Go for the porno

[Glenn47]

Porno. I still have ONE hand, right?

[Exiled]

POOOOORRRNNOOOOO!!!!

[Telephalsion]

since i'm sober i'll go for porn, there is no such thing as "to much porn" right?

[Impossible]

I'm just gonna assume you're putting in losers who haven't been around long now just to build up the suspense to the amazing awesome part with me.

>_>

<_<

Porn.

By the way, Tele is not allowed to be remotely intelligent. No fair.

[Telephalsion]

By the way, Tele is not allowed to be remotely intelligent. No fair.

this should go to "the most memorable quotes"


You big meanie

[EmperorJeramyu]

I'm just gonna assume you're putting in losers who haven't been around long now just to build up the suspense to the amazing awesome part with me.

>_>

<_<

Porn.

By the way, Tele is not allowed to be remotely intelligent. No fair.

No, I'm putting people who aren't making demands first.

By the way, this is my story, so shut up.

[Exiled]

No, I'm putting people who aren't making demands first.

By the way, this is my story, so shut up.

Owned.

[OverlordBill]

We're eating glass and just when the dish needs to be put back you stop me from touching anything sharp? FOO.

And I say we get the porn and then set the bus on auto-pilot to the liquor place. The trip will pass like nothing while we're all doing the nasty dance with our hands.

[Telephalsion]

send someone with the badass mobile to get some booze and rejoin the squad at the porn place! The perfect plan

[Strayed Wanderer]

I was body slammed off a bus by an illiterate guy who jumped out of a plot hole... that's just wrong. Well... maybe I lived.

Normally I'd vote for Porno, but I'd really hate to see what happens afterwards... I vote Beer.

[War]

You will die for that Strayed...... or just massivly hacked

[Porter]

looks like I pre-voted for porno according to the story, so I might as well stay with it

[Impossible]

I didn't technically demand anything. >_>

And I guess I'm to assume Jeramyu has moved into some sort of ToS phase now. Cool.