The continuing saga of "Wrong Way"!

[HolsteinCow]

The Cow prefers porno.

[Fitz Tayo]

I'll go with porno... zombies still have needs people!

[Strayed Wanderer]

I've officially made Fitz a zombie.

[EmperorJeramyu]

Lmao... this is getting rediculous... I've actually had people PM me, telling me what to do with the story. Let's get this straight: This is my story. I'm sacrificing my time and sanity to write this. I'll do the "you chose" stuff on occasion. I'm just making it up as I go along.

Without further ado, I bring you the next, completely awesome episode:

"The Cure for Combat"

“PORNO.” A loud voice boomed from out of the sky. Everyone stopped their stomping fits.
“Come on! You can get porno off the internet for free!” Iteroth whined.
“You head the omniscient voice!” Jeramyu shouted, “We’re going to the porno store!” With that, the decision was made. The bus rolled off to the northwest, toward sweet relief.

But the venture would take overnight. Of course, a night with the crestfallen is just beginning to be written about. After the routine “11 o’clock bus shake”, everyone was safely lying in bed. This is of course, when things start to happen.
Iteroth propped his pillow up, and smoked from his superbong, Bob Marley echoing serenely through his padded headphones. The byproduct of this act however, was not as immobile. The cloud of methane and other unspeakables wafted out of the bead screen door, and down the hall. Maliciously, it stalked left and right… left and right… left and…
“ITEROTH!!!”
Just having a conversation with Impossible, you could tell he was a very surly kind of guy. But waking him in the middle of the night was a certain way to multiply that surlyness, into being downright pissed.
“Impossible SMASH!!!”
There wasn’t a door to brake, so the wall did just as well. Iteroth let out a noise that not even most twelve year olds couldn’t make. Sinking back into his bed was to little avail, as combustible gases were pouring from Impossible’s nostrils in a surreal matter, and it would only be logical that he could breathe fire.
“Not again…” Iteroth coughed, as he came to the realization that every hair on his body had been burnt off. With the bong fumes gone, peace could return, until the next dialog.
“MORTAL KOOOOOMBAAAAAAATTT!!!!!!”
On most buses, you couldn’t see a cow being hurtled down a hallway. Then again…
“YOU SHALL PAY!!!” Holstein Cow shouted, starting into a full-on bowling ball roll. Bill was knocked back into a wall that wasn’t really expecting a body being knocked into it, so needless to say, it collapsed.
“INSOLENT MORTAL!” Bill jeered, erupting with power. “Ka… me… ha… me..” Bill’s attack was cut off by another cow roll. Just for good measure, War entered with a shotgun, and began blowing out windows. Jeramyu burst through a wall with a light saber, followed by angry Impossible. Porter stumbled out of his room mostly unclothed, groping around stupidly. Glenn entered and couldn’t think of anything to say. Exiled’s room was shaking up and down rapidly.
“Halt!” A feminine voice commanded.
“NO! IT CANNOT BE!!!” Bill bellowed in a deep voice, eyes glowing green with the power of… power.
“…Any female who enters this bus must foolish… or powerful…” Jeramyu mused, doing a Harrison Ford impression.
“BWAHAHAHAHA!!” Lighting crackled through the bus, frying the barely mobile Iteroth. Telephalsion appeared in a flash of light.
“NO! IT CANNOT BE!!!” Bill bellowed.
“Uh… It’s Telephalsion” Jeramyu noted.
“IMPOSSIBLE SMA-.”
“Ahem.”
“SILENCE, WENCH!!”
“Let him speak already, dammit!”
There was silence momentarily. Telephalsion cleared his throat.
“Anyway, as I was-.”
“NO! IT CANNOT BE!!!”
“say-.”
“NO! IT CANNOT-.”
“ing…”
“BE!!!”
“As I was saying, IT IS COMPLETE!!!”
Glenn interjected. “You weren’t saying that. You just laughed, and fried Iteroth with a lighting bolt.”
“DESPITE the demise of my fellow… engineer… IT IS COMPLETE!!”
“What is?”
“Can’t you see it?”
“No, the lights are off.”
“Dammit, turn the lights on!” By pure luck, Porter’s random groping flicked on the light switch.
“WHOAH!!!”
“Hot damn!!!”
“He said there would be * Humping Motion *, AND HE WAS RIGHT!!!”
“Gu-uh!?”
“Holy…”
“NO! IT CANNOT BE!!!”
“Ahem, I have managed to complete… Nymph Mermaid Dryad Hot thingy that's only thought is mating, and can't get pregnant unless one who sleeps with it wills it.” The crestfallen were in awe. All except for Exiled, who already had a girl friend, and couldn’t get in on the fun, and was too busy already. =D
“Halt!” the NMDHT proclaimed, “…Now who’s first?” Before another fight broke out, Jeramyu used his latent telekinetic powers to freeze everyone in place. “There must be a civilized way to do this…”
“How about alphabetically?” Bill managed to say.
Jeramyu rubbed his chin in thought for a moment. “So that would make me…7th…” he looked towards Exiled’s room. “6th…” He looked at Iteroth “5th” He looked at Holstein “4th…. And Excell is missing, so that makes me… 3rd… Yeah, sounds good, alphabetically.” Jeramyu freed the Crestfallen from his hold. “We’ll use the guest room. Clean up after yourself, and don’t try and break my telekinetic barrier.”
The crestfallen nodded with understanding.

The next morning was a dusty horizon. The bus was traveling through the desert. A-GoodBadUgly played over the music speakers. The fortunate crestfallen all awoke, stretching, slightly more muscular than before.
Jeramyu entered the main lounge with a drink, grinning to himself. Porter sat with a drink, grinning back. They both burst out laughing simultaneously. Telephalsion entered, strangely pissed.
“What’s up with you?” Jeramyu sneered.
“Oy… You guys broke it! By the time everyone was done with it, it practically exploded when I got back!"
All of the lucky few were laughing.
“We’re here!” Trivia Bot announced. Glenn entered. “Hey, that new arm worked really well last night, good job Jeramyu… hey is that the…”
“Badassmobile?”

Excell ran out of the porno store, smiling like a kid. “Hey guys!” He yelled “I took the badass mobile to get ahead! There was a huge line to get inside, but lucky I was so early. I got stuff for all of ya!”
Certain Crestfallen glanced at each other, and sighed. “Iteroth can have mine.” Jeramyu muttered.
Excell tilted his head, and gave a curious glance. “…Did I miss something?”

There were sighs, and then there was laughter.

[Impossible]

Bastard.

[Random idea]

This is awesome.

[Telephalsion]

Awww you broke it, damn you and your branches

[OverlordBill]

MUSCLES!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Muscles will ruin my pasty pale white image!

[Strayed Wanderer]

So, I'm a little confused... anyone dead?

[Fitz Tayo]

Um, I think I'm dead. GOD DAMN! Tele, you just had to give them the Hot Mermaid Dryad Nymph whos only thought is mating and can't get pregnant unless the one who sleeps with it wills it, didn't you? Oh wait... Jera writes it.... GOD DAMN!

[Strayed Wanderer]

You could sue him for copyright infringement... if he bothered to copyright *insert nymph dryad... yeah..*.

[Fitz Tayo]

I think I prefer cursing.
GOD DAMN!

[EmperorJeramyu]

Since when did death ever stop anyone?

[TeppicTheBloodLyn]

since half an hour ago

[Strayed Wanderer]

Thats why I decided he would become a Zombie Ninja... and that I would raise an army of (Possibly Radioactive) Genetically Engineered Titanium Armored Bear-Crab Hybrids backed by What's-His-Name's Hover-Cats equipped with Heat Seeking Rocket Launchers with the sole purpose of throwing War off a moving bus.

Turtles glued together and filled with napalm are somewhere in there...