by EmperorJeramyu » Fri Jul 30, 2004 11:08 pm
Without further ado...
"SeaBus 2004"
The mighty bus was rolling ahead once again. The crestfallen remained unchanged, despite their recent adventures, sans Impossible, who confined himself to his room. Unfortunately, the spectrum also applied to the landscape as well; the desert still stretched on for miles.
“Look! A lake!” Glenn pointed out. “I don’t think it’s a mirage this time either.”
Excell coughed up sand. “Shut up.”
So I, the narrator lied. There was indeed a lake, consuming the entire horizon. It was a welcome sign of relief.
“Yo, Trivia.” Porter shouted, “Hit the brakes.” The lake came closer. “I said hit the brakes, dammit.”
The bus flew in a Speed-esque fashion above the lake. Momentarily. With a full on nosedive, the bus was indeed, completely submerged.
“It would be pretty funny if this thing wasn’t air tight.” Telephalsion chuckled. “Or else we’d all die, and Jeramyu wouldn’t have to write these anymore.”
The few gathered in the main cabin. Jeramyu cleared his throat for an unnecessarily long time. “Here’s the deal. We’re at the bottom of the lake.” The crestfallen murmured to each other.
“And WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!” Excell screamed, also unnecessarily. The crestfallen ignored him.
“No, a plot hole opened up and is letting fresh air in.” Exiled announced.
“But, we’re still stuck here, and that’s a problem.” Jeramyu said. “Anyone got any ideas?”
“I say we all die!”
“I say we skip this episode.”
The useless suggestions carried on.
“Since you all suck, I’ll think of an idea.” Jeramyu exclaimed loudly. An hour passed. Another hour. A couple more.
“I know!” he finally shouted. “Holstein Cow has four stomachs, right? So we just find four idiots, and have Holstein eat them. Then, he can roll outside, and those people can use the ‘trans-cow’ visors to look around and… and… and find something that could… uh… justify going out there in the first place!”
“It’s a good idea!” Iteroth shouted, hitting up a bong.
“That’s one person!” Jeramyu proclaimed. “Excell can go too, cause nobody wants him in here to begin with. “Tele can also go, because I said so.”
“And Jeramyu makes four.” Porter said, nodding assuredly.
Jeramyu started nodding unknowingly. “Right! Then we’re set. Gear up, and head down to the… uh… airlock!”
Within minutes, the brave four were suited up, and ready to be eaten.
“All right! Eat us!”
The strange request was fulfilled, and before long, Holstein was rolling across the lake bottom.
“…And that’s why I’m in stomach number one.” Jeramyu concluded. “What is it that we’re looking for?”
“Dunno…” Iteroth replied, still a bit upset over being disallowed bong privileges inside of the Cow.
Excell had already done an unmentionable number of things to the inside of the Cow, and he only continued. “I’m going to light the match now!” He said excitedly.
“NO! No match.” Jeramyu shouted.
“Hey! Up ahead! Turn on your scopes. There’s a strange light.” Telephalsion noted.
“Whoah… hey, yeah!”
Directly infront of Cow, was none other than the ghost of strayed wanderer.
“Strayed!” Jeramyu bellowed, “What are you doing out there?”
“Plotting your untimely demise, and the demise of pretty much everything.” The ghost replied.
“Sounds good.” Jeramyu replied, “Hey… uh… is there anyway to un-sink the bus from here?”
“Strap a bomb to your chest and blow it up.” Strayed suggested.
“No, I mean not in a way you would like.”
“Well, being a ghost does randomly give me useless powers. I can part the water for you.”
“All right!” Jeramyu shouted. “Now let’s get back before Holstein has to take a dump.” The cow rolled off.
With the help of the ghost of Strayed Wanderer, the bus rolled through the parted waters, safely on to land again.
“So we’ve got a ghost on board now.” Porter said. “Amusing.”
“Not for long. I’ve been reading up, and I think I can resurrect the dead.” Jeramyu responded.
“That’s convenient.” Porter replied. “But would you really want to resurrect someone who wanted to kill you?”
“=P” Jeramyu inexplicably managed to pronounce.
But little did the Crestfallen know, that as their bus rolled out of the desert, and onto the grasslands, they were closer to their goal then they had initially thought. They were also unaware of something strange happening… Something that was certainly not on their world.
"Unfortunately, the dragon only speaks in Napalm, a curious ancient language that you don't really need to speak to understand."