Strayed Wanderer wrote:Ooooh, I got one, ban long posts.
Agreed! I find it immensely annoying that some impetuously pretentious people just can't seem to confine every single one of their inane, jury-rigged thoughts into a simple five to ten word post. As a famous man once said, "Conciseness is a virtue," and with that I have to agree. Do these people have any idea how much agonizing torture they are bringing upon us who are too lazy to read the whole goddamn thing? We have much more important tasks to accomplish such as watching TV, masturbating, playing video games, eating, sleeping and masturbating! It's insane! Next thing we know people will start writing four hundred page long manuals on how to effectively operate a toothbrush! I SIMPLY CANNOT PUT UP WITH CRAP LIKE THAT!
I move that we all look through everyone's post history and have Porter, Jera or Tele delete every single post with a length of more than thirty characters and ban anyone who has made a post with a length of more than fifty characters. That is sure to slightly decrease our immense annoyance. That is only the first step, though. After we do that, we must create accounts and raid all internet message boards that contain and/or glorify excessively lengthy messages by posting illegal copyrighted material and child porn all over the place. If that doesn't get them shut down, we must find out where each and every last one of those people lives, go to their houses and beat the ever loving crap out of their heads with blunt objects until they become mentally handicapped enough to no longer be able to operate a computer.
This may all take a while with only the few people we currently have at our disposal, thus I decree that we form an internet cult dedicated to the mass genocide of all those who dare threaten our idealistic world of conciseness. They will be easy to find, those lazy, lethargic oafs who can no longer bear to witness the existence of such needlessly intricate readables. We will gain their trust by offering them a paradise of nothing but posts that are tiny and trimmed to the brim as much as possible. Once we have them all beneath our wings, we will order them to viciously attack and murder all nonbelievers. They will have terrifyingly evil looks of rage in their eyes as they begin to dismember each and every one of the evildoers' limbs. This will leave that greatly deserved look of terror in their dying faces. If any one of our followers chooses to betray us by learning to articulate his thoughts in more complex ways, however, we will torture him in the most vile of ways conceivable by mere human thought until he decides to return to our way of life.
If this plan goes well enough, we will eventually have ridden the entire online populace of all such terrible swines. It doesn't end there, though! Afterwards, we must target all of those who do not dwell in the world of cyberspace, but rather the world of tangible objects. In order to accomplish this, we must increase our forces by at least one hundred fold. As I said before, these oafish idiots are easy to find. We will continue this process until our forces number into the hundreds of thousands. We will then form a political party to-
Wait... never mind. I'm sorry. Just ignore this.